GARY MASON

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gary@gary-mason.com

Encouragement

Make Goals

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Make Goals”.

Drum roll please!

And…here we are. This is the long awaited 38th in the series post finishing the series!  So, I suppose the heading to this ought to read: Ending the series.  At any rate, this is it, the end of the line for my subset of the 100 wisest words series.  I don’t know if you’ll miss it, but I myself will now have to start coming up with my own fresh topics each week. So, part of me will definitely miss it!

It’s kind of ironic

I didn’t plan it this way, but the irony is not lost on me.  40+ weeks ago I made a goal to write a weekly blog based on a list of “wise words” published by someone else, and here we are as I reach the goal with a post about making goals! I promise it just happened that way.

What is a goal?

The term “goals” gets batted around a lot, but before setting a goal it is important to know what it is, and what it is not.  A goal is big and time sensitive.  It is not an objective (those are the steps you take to reach the goal), a resolution or a mission.  A goal is something “out of the box” that you are trying to achieve.  You should have goals set by week, month, year, 5 years and 10 years (as an example)

Goals

OK, so let’s dive in.  Why is it so important to set goals? The short answer is; without goals you’ll never know when you’ve achieved what you set out to achieve.  As author Bill Copeland says: “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.”.  And that is just what many people do.

How does making goals help?

There are several things making a goal will accomplish.  Goals give you focus, help you stay motivated and measure progress, they help you stay motivated and ultimately help you achieve more.  Of course, just setting the goal is only the first step…you have to take action to achieve the goal once it is set.

It’s like driving

I like to compare goal setting to taking a road trip.  Before you jump in the car and head off down the road, you need to have a destination in mind.  Just driving around until you see someplace you want to stop will only waste time and money.  And with fuel at $5.00 a gallon (or more in some places) you can’t sustain that model.  No, you must have a destination selected before you even walk out the door to get in the car!

But the goal itself is just not enough

What good is it to know where you want to go without some idea of how you plan to get there?  Again, like driving, simply saying “I plan to go to Los Angeles” and then driving around aimlessly hoping eventually you’ll wind up in Los Angeles won’t work.  You have to map out the trip.  And, yeah, I know with a GPS in your car it’s easier but stick with me here.

The first step

The first step in goal setting, believe it or not, is knowing where you are NOW.  If you want to go to LA, establishing a starting point is paramount!  Following directions from Atlanta to LA doesn’t work if you are in Billings, Montana.  And yeah, I get your GPS figures that out for you but don’t get stuck on that, the whole driving thing is just an analogy.

One BIG goal, many smaller objectives

You may have heard it said that the way to eat an elephant is: One bite at a time.  This is also true with goals.  Let’s face it, big goals are not achieved in one fell swoop (now THERE’S an oldie for ya!).  Big goals are achieved one objective (bite) at a time.

Which means

Once you have decided on a BIG goal and know where you are at in relation to that goal it’s time to look for intermediate objectives.  A series of smaller “goals”, if you will, that lead to achieving that big goal.  Let’s go back to that trip from Atlanta to LA by car.  Getting to LA is your big goal, but now you have to map out your route, and since you know it is going to take several days you’re going to have to figure out where you’ll stop to rest along the way.

So…

You pick a route (a series of highways) and then decide how many hours per day you’ll drive and figure out where you’ll be along the route when you need to stop.  In those locations you’ll make sleeping arrangements…maybe family, maybe a hotel, maybe a campsite…it doesn’t matter as long as you know ahead of time so you’ll have a place to rest.

Now…

Now that big goal doesn’t seem quite as daunting.  You have smaller, objectives (intermediate goals) to achieve along the way that keep you moving toward your bigger goal. So, you don’t have to worry about LA on day one, you only have to worry about reaching your first stopping point.  You set objectives that are reasonable, measurable, and achievable.  Achieve all your objectives, and you achieve your goal!  Easy right!?

Not so fast!

What if something interferes with an objective, or you change your mind about wanting to go to LA along the way?  In our example, what happens if your transmission decides to blow out on day two?  In those cases, you need to re-evaluate and replan.  It’s as simple as deciding if LA is still your ultimate destination (it is in this story) and then set objectives anew from wherever you are at.

Periodic review/renewal

Goals are not stagnant.  It is important to periodically review your goals and decide whether they are still goals you want to achieve. The goals are yours, so it is perfectly reasonable to drop a goal and add a new one…let’s face it LIFE HAPPENS, and we need to adjust when it does.

In business

As a freelance business owner (face it, your VO and acting career is a freelance small business) it is imperative that you set goals for yourself and your business.  Without goals, you’ll never know if you’ve become “successful” (as you have defined success for yourself).  What do you want your VO or acting career to look like next week?  Next month?  Year?  Decade?  Only you can answer these questions for yourself, and I would bet there are as many right answers as there are voiceover artists and actors.

And then…

Set some objectives for yourself.  Want to become an A-list actor?  Ask yourself what steps you need to take to get there.  Will you need training?  Maybe a degree?  Just like our trip from Atlanta to LA (which is a trip many VO Artists/Actors want to take, BTW) the first step is to determine where you are in relation to that goal.  Find a coach who can evaluate your talent/ability (someone who won’t pump smoke up your…well…backside). Then, based on that honest evaluation, map out the objectives along the way to get where you want to be.  Get training, get an agent, book some student films, then a couple Indie films and finally some 5 or less roles and co-star roles.  Whatever it takes.  And then FINALLY…keep at it…keep your eyes on the next objective and routinely evaluate if your ultimate goal is still right for you.  There are many forks in the road, and you MAY want to take one!

It’s your journey

And only you can map it out.  It doesn’t matter (to anyone but you) what your goals and objectives are.  What’s important is that you HAVE them and are tracking them.  So: Make Goals!

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If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

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Smile at Strangers

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Smile at Strangers”.

The last two weeks

Believe it or not, I was out of the country touring Greece the last two weeks, so I wrote blog posts to cover while I was gone.  Now I’m back and struggling with a bit of jet lag, so bear with me this week if I ramble a bit.  NOTE TO SELF: When traveling, ALSO write the blog for the week you return ahead of time.

Vacation

View from our Air BnB

Just to kick it off, the vacation was AMAZING.  It’s not what this post is about, but here are some highlights anyway.  We flew to Athens and spent three nights there.  The archaeological sites were something to behold, and the food was out of this world. I’d say you’ve never REALLY had a gyro till you’ve had one (or several dozen) in Greece. After Athens we drove around the Gulf of Corinth through the Peloponnese mountains for 4 days finally landing on the island of Aegina where we spent a week in an Air BnB.

It was completely relaxing

And I worked very little…really only enough to make sure there wasn’t anything pressing and to send my pre-written blog posts out.  If you’d like to see some highlights of the trip you can check out some more pics here.

Smiling

OK, on to the topic at hand. Being in a foreign country gave us plenty of opportunity to see and interact with strangers.  Like…everyone there besides us.  And we were on vacation, so of course, as you can see,  we smiled…a LOT.  In my very brief experiment, what I found was this:  When you smile at someone, generally they smile back! A smile is contagious.

What happens?

Researchers have found that smiling, or even nodding at strangers you pass on the street has psychological and physical effects.  The acknowledgement has the effect of making the other person feel included (yes, even briefly).  Not acknowledging them (with a smile!) can make someone feel excluded, even briefly, which leads to loneliness and loneliness can be deadly!

It’s contagious!

Smiling at someone makes them feel “included”, which in turn makes them feel good, which makes THEM want to smile…a smile really IS contagious.  Try it for yourself.  Pick a day and endeavor to smile at strangers you pass on the street and see what happens.

Really, it’s science!

According to mental health expert Roseann Capanna-Hodge, “Smiling at another person can have a ripple effect, not only improving your own health but creating well-being in others.” And “When we smile, it triggers a cascade of feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins…Endorphins lower stress levels, reduce pain, and produce feelings of well-being and happiness—which make us just feel good.” So, smiling not only helps strangers, it make YOU feel good too!

Caution!

But beware…a fake or forced smile does not have the same effect as a genuine smile. Somehow, we humans have a way of detecting when a smile is not genuine.  So don’t try the experiment on a day when you can’t muster a genuine smile for someone, or it will backfire!

And then…COVID

Is it any wonder people were grumpier during the pandemic?  Besides the fact of the disease and the suffering it caused, it ALSO covered up everyone’s smiles.  I’m happy that mask requirements are being relaxed because we can smile at one another again.  And we have enough reasons in this world to not smile, so seeing people smile is a treat.  Even if you’re uncomfortable removing your mask in public, seeing others smile may help you feel just a little better.

Why might we not smile?

There are loads of reasons to avoid smiling at people.  Maybe you are focused on something important, or maybe you feel like a smile will lead to something you don’t want like a conversation when you don’t have time. I get it.  But remember, smiling at strangers helps not only THEM but YOU as well.  Feeling grumpy or overwhelmed?  Try smiling (genuinely) at people. Before you know it you’ll feel much better.

What does this have to do with VO or acting?

I’m glad you asked!  As a freelance VO artist or actor, you are going to wind up meeting and working with strangers ALL THE TIME.  It’s rare to show up on a new set, or log into a directed VO session with people you know.  True, there are times, but it is rare.  And on a set the odds that you know even one person, let alone a group of people, is slim.  And no matter what, there will ALWAYS be someone you don’t know (a stranger).

I may have mentioned before…

Maybe just once or twice anyway, that this industry is built on a foundation of relationships.  It is going to be rough on you if you can’t establish, build, and maintain relationships.  And think about it: People don’t really like a sourpuss (yeah, that is an older phrase that reveals my age, I know).  Every time you show up on set or log into a directed session, you have an opportunity to smile and make a new relationship.

A face for radio

That’s what my mom used to tell me.  Yeah, I know, not very encouraging.  I loved my mom, but she was…complicated.  Anyway, enough about her.  How the heck do you smile at someone as a VO artist when they can’t even SEE you?!  And the answer is…just the same way as if they CAN see you.

My coach

Well, one of my VO coaches anyway, used to say, “I can’t hear your smile”.  I was like, what?  That’s like saying I can’t taste blue.  It made no sense to me.  But here’s the thing: Your facial expression drives a change in your voice.  You actually CAN hear a smile.  Think about the last time you called someone who was happy to hear from you.  You can tell by the way they sound.  And then try calling your boss to take a sick day…THEY’RE not smiling, and you can tell that too!

On set

As I mentioned, nearly every time (if not EVERY time) you arrive on set for a job there are going to be a LOT of people you don’t know.  Smiling will act to make the environment brighter, and if you’ve ever been on an “unfriendly” set (I have) you’ll know that it makes for a very stressful, very long day.  And if you’ve been on a friendly set, you’ll know that it makes the work a breeze (well, it IS still work, but…) and you’ll want to work with those people again.

And…

If you are the one that always responds with a smile, they’ll want to work with you again.  And as a freelance performer, that is what you want.  You want to be the person people want to work with.  So, you be the person who smiles and soon others will be smiling.  At the VERY least you’ll get to work on a fun, friendly set.

At the end of the day

Try to remember that a genuine smile helps to make others feel better and more included.  It helps to relieve (even a little) someone’s loneliness and it also gives you a little endorphin rush as well.  It’s like the simplest win-win situation and you have control over it!  So, from now on…Smile at Strangers!

Looking for your next great read?  Check out the “New Ideas and Different Perspectives” promotion!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

 

Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone”.

The dreaded school dances.

Come on, admit it.  When you were in Middle School (or as we called it Junior High School) and went to your first school dance you were as embarrassed as I was to actually dance, right? No?  Just me?  I doubt it. In my experience there were a half dozen girls out there dancing and everyone else was stationed in two camps (one boys camp and one girls camp) on opposite sides of the school gymnasium. Well, maybe except for the occasional slow dance.

My mom

My mom loved to dance, and whenever I would come home from a school dance, she always asked me: “Did you dance?”.  She asked because she knew the answer was always no.  And then she would inevitably use a phrase similar to this week’s topic to remind me that it would be more fun to dance, and no one cared how I looked doing it.  Needless to say, I was sure she was lying just so she too could laugh at me for embarrassing myself.

She was right

I hate to admit it, but my mom was right.  I’d love to say she was right about most things, but I’d be lying…about this topic, though, she was spot on.  When I finally did get out to dance (not JUST the slow dances) I had a blast, and no one cared how goofy I looked doing it.  Although I confess, I enjoyed the slow dances a lot more.  I still do and believe it or not almost 50 years later I still feel self-conscious dancing in public.  I generally don’t do it without some “liquid courage” even though I have taken some dance lessons.

But here’s the thing

I look back on all those school dances (and can still feel how self-conscious I was at them) and I can’t remember thinking other people couldn’t dance.  I never once watched someone else dance and laughed at them or was embarrassed for them.  Mostly, I thought, “I wish I could dance like that!”.  I really should have gotten out there more, and maybe I would feel more comfortable dancing today.

It’s not just dancing

I doubt I am alone in this, but the idea of not participating in something because you don’t feel talented enough is not just about dancing.  I believe this applies to many areas in life.  Sports, work, dating…and I think a lot of people miss out on some pretty fantastic experiences because of it.

And sometimes, we do suck at it

Not everyone can be good at everything.  Sometimes we do things we love, and we just don’t do them very well.  But if you love doing it, you do it in spite of not being very good at it.  Don’t sweat it, though, because everyone has something they suck at!

Golf

I love golf.  I mean, it is a passion of mine.  Like, I’ll play every chance I get and I only started golfing a few years ago.  And here’s the thing:  I feel like I am a really BAD golfer most times.  I’m self-conscious whenever I play with someone I don’t know or who I hadn’t played with before (which, if you golf you know makes your game even worse).  I golf anyway though.

And what happens?

A couple things happen when I golf all the time.  The first thing I notice is almost everyone is bad at golf, or at least has really bad days.  And the next thing that happens is (and this is the important part): I get better at the game!    And of course, I have fun.  Playing bad golf is a lot more fun than NOT playing bad golf.

That’s kind of how it works

It’s almost universally true that the more you do something, the better you get at it.  I think the old saying is “practice makes perfect”.  Although I don’t believe anyone can ever be “perfect” at something, I mean even Tiger Woods only wins some of his tournaments, you can definitely become proficient at things by doing them.  But you have to do them!  And sometimes, you can even have fun while you’re at it.

Think about…

Think back to all the things you won’t do because you’re embarrassed.  And then try and remember other people doing those same things that you thought were really bad at it or who made a fool of themselves.  Can you think of anyone?  If you can, I would say not very many.  The simple truth of the matter is that most people are simply too absorbed with their own actions (and possible embarrassment) to even be paying attention to you.  Honestly if you knew how little other people even notice you, let alone think about you, no one would be embarrassed about anything.  Almost.

The entertainment industry

Working in the entertainment industry is no different, no matter what aspect of the industry you are in.  Particularly as the talent, I find that a lot of people who would love to do Voice Over or Act simply don’t do it because they are afraid of making a fool of themselves.  Sure, you can (and probably will) have a performance that is worth remembering not because of how brilliant it was but because of how NOT brilliant it was.  And so will everyone else.  So…who cares?

And you will improve

It’s inevitable, if you keep doing something over and over…including VO and acting, you will get better.  Everyone starts somewhere, and nobody gives an award-winning performance the first thing out of the gate. So, if performing is something you want to do, don’t let a fear of making a fool of yourself stop you!

Earning a living

It is true that it is difficult to earn a living as a VO artist or actor.  At least at first.  So the truth is, if you want to be a part of this industry to become rich and famous, you are approaching it for the wrong reasons.  Many people, and not just the ultra-famous people, make a living as actors and VO professionals.  Eventually. Remember it is said that it takes ten years to become an overnight success.  But it will never happen if you just sit on the sidelines and dream about doing it.  It takes the same 10 years whether you start today or 10 years from now…so if it’s what you really want, start now.  It is NEVER too late!

You can’t do this for money or accolades

I mean, you CAN get them, but it can’t be your motivation. If it is, then I suggest you are in the wrong industry.  To really succeed as a performer, you have to do it because you love it.  If you love what you are doing, and you do it, you have already succeeded even if you never make a dime.

There are ways…

And there are proven, time tested ways to improve your chances of being able to earn a decent living as a performer. Start by finding classes to take that will teach you the basic methods to deliver a performance, and then continue to both take classes and get coached along the way.  Each of these things give you an opportunity to actually perform in a safe and non-judgmental atmosphere to acquire and hone the skills you need to be successful.

And by non-judgmental, I mean…

You know if you are in a class or working with a coach their JOB is to tell you what you need to improve, right?  So, in effect they are (by design) judging your performance.  You will get critiqued, but don’t let that stop you, it’s part of how you improve.  Classes and coaching sessions are the place it is safe to be judged because it is your improvement that is the goal.

And there will be critics

It is a sad reality of this profession that there will be people who are critical of your performance. The performing arts are so…subjective.  One person will love your work while another will hate the same performance.  There is just no escaping it.  As a performer, you simply can’t let a bad review keep you from pursuing your career.  You do the very best you can, and make sure YOU liked your performance…and that’s that!

But none of it matters…

The only way to get a bad review is to be performing.  None of it matters if you remain seated.  If performing is something you dream of then not doing it because you are afraid of “making a fool” of yourself means you’ve already failed.  So, remember:  Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.  And you never know where you might end up!

Looking for your next great read?  Check out the “New Ideas and Different Perspectives” promotion!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

Make the little things count.

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Make the little things count”.

An old adage

Almost everyone has heard it: “It’s the little things that count”.  I like to tell my kids these saying don’t just fall out of the sky, they develop over time for a reason, and this one is no different.  This quote originated in the 20th century (believe it or not) and is attributed to a system’s programmer at the RAND corporation, Cliff Shaw.  What he actually said was: “It’s the little things that count, hundreds of them”.

And it’s no wonder, really

It’s not surprising that the phrase was coined by an early programmer.  Anyone who has done any coding will know that the smallest mistake can make a program crash.  But the truth of it has been around for a lot longer, and there are a lot of little sayings that relate to it. “Watch the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves” (Ben Franklin) for example;  and “The devil is in the details” (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche).

But it’s been true forever

As far back as time itself, big things are made up of all the little things.  Look around, a huge brick mansion is made with thousands of small bricks, huge pyramids are constructed out of thousands of smaller (OK, they are still big though) stones.  And don’t forget your body is made up of billions of cells, which in turn are made up of thousands of atoms.  It’s kind of mind blowing if you think of it.

It’s not just material things

Those little things matter in a lot of ways.  Ways that affect you every day, but you maybe don’t notice anymore.  Do you go to the same establishment frequently?  Does it make you smile when the people working there recognize you and greet you?  A little thing that makes a big difference! One of my favorite little features that makes a big difference in the car is the short flash mode for turn signals so you don’t have to remember to turn them off after changing lanes.  Now if I can just remember to turn them ON to change lanes…

If you pay attention

Today, take some time to notice all those little things that happen without you really noticing.  Pay attention to all the things people do, or little additional features in your favorite products that just make your life easier.  I think you’ll be surprised at how many little things you notice that really matter.

And remember

That great things are built out of a lot of little things.  If you are as old as I am, then even sitting here today in front of a computer, using a word processor and posting to the internet is the result of a million little things to get us here.  I was born in 1960.  We hadn’t yet been to the moon, or cooked food in a microwave, or talked on a phone that wasn’t attached to the system with wires or a myriad of other things.

And it didn’t happen all at once

Where we are today is the product of millions of experiments, development, and improvement over time.  We all KNOW that, but rarely think of it in those terms.  This keyboard I type on started its life as typesetting in a printing press, then moved on to a manual typewriter, then an electric typewriter (I loved the ones that would “backspace” and erase mistakes without white out) and now finally a keyboard for a computer.  Each small improvement builds onto earlier improvements over time.

And neither did you

You didn’t happen all at once either.  And I’m not just talking about being formed and born.  I mean SINCE birth.  The you that exists today is the result of countless “little things” that have grown and shaped you over time.  It is the culmination of all those little things that make you…well, you (as opposed to, say, me). And if you are still breathing, you are not done.

But you know what?

All of those things I’ve written to this point are great but only serve to highlight the importance of the main point of this topic which is not “Pay attention to and notice all the small important things around you” but is instead “MAKE the little things count”.  An important distinction, but without the context of the importance it’s just a cute saying.

Wait, what?

Make them count?  We are 800 words into this short essay, and I’ve spent them telling you that those small things DO count, so why do we have to make them count? I’m SO confused! Don’t fret, I’ll explain.

Up to this point

Up to now I’ve been talking about how the little things that happen to you are important so that you’ll believe this next part.  And here it is:  All the little things you do for someone else are just as important to them.  And they remember them, just like you do.  For example, are you recognized at an establishment you frequent and go there instead of somewhere else because of it?  You remember.  They will too.

Relationships

At the risk of sounding like a broken record (Hmmm…vinyl records…talk about incremental improvements over time!), the entertainment industry is built on relationships.  I won’t say it is more important than talent (although sometimes I believe it is) but I can firmly say it is equally important. Making those small things count is what builds and strengthens those relationships.    And if you are not intentional about them, not MAKING them count, you could miss out on great things.

Why does it matter?

As a performer of any kind, VO, stage actor, screen actor…any of them…you are in a freelance industry where the commodity you are selling is YOU.  Your goal is to book jobs, and it is other people who make the decisions who to book.  What you want, no…what you NEED…as a performer is for people to remember you and want to work with you when they have a role to cast.

OK, so how do you make small things count?

Well, a good question and maybe MAKING small things count is a bit misleading.  They do count, already…but only if you DO them.  What follows, in no particular order, is a PARTIAL list of things to do to stand out to people.  With the hope of building relationships and out of that HOPEFULLY booking work.  Remember: The motivation has to be building relationships not booking work.  Booking work is a by-product of relationship building.

Some small things to always do

Again, these are not in order of any importance (I’d say they are equally important, really) and it is not an exhaustive list but should serve to give you an idea what I am talking about:

Remember names: You like it when people use your name, so make a habit of remembering people’s names (I am absolutely abysmal at this myself and am working on it, which is probably why it is the first one on the list).

Be on time: You want to get noticed on a production?  Be the person who is always 15 minutes early for your call time.

Be prepared: Showing up 15 minutes early won’t help you if you haven’t spent time preparing for the job.  Memorize lines, rehearse them ahead of time…whatever the job requires.

Be pleasant:  If you are unpleasant, they’ll remember you too…but for the wrong thing.

Be helpful: As long as it doesn’t go against union rules (assuming it is a union job) be seen as that “team player” who is always willing to help.

Be encouraging: Especially to new or younger folks and particularly to traditionally “forgotten” folks like the BG actors.  Remember to praise publicly but admonish (if you are in a position to do so) privately.

Friendly and reliable

At the end of the day most of this is talking about being intentional about making sure you are friendly and reliable.  You want to be the person people enjoy working with AND who people know they can rely on.  Like becoming you, it is not going affect your career overnight but over time you’re going to wind up being the first one they call when they are trying to fill a role.  So remember: Make the little things count!

Looking for your next great read?  Check out the “New Ideas and Different Perspectives” promotion!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

 

You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest”.

Bear with me…

This week’s topic seems like a doozy to write about, and probably no less a doozy to read about.  But bear with me, it is pertinent to VO and acting, and we’ll get to that.

First

First things first.  If you’ve been reading the last 33 blog posts, you already know that I selected 38 topics (here’s the first one if you care) from a list of 100 wisest words.  There was no attribution, so I try to figure out who said it.  And this week I didn’t find ANYTHING, so my guess is it was coined by the anonymous teacher mentioned in the original Facebook post. But there is a close second, where most people think it came from (THINK).

Darwin

I love the Darwin awards, where people wind up dying because they did really stupid things.  It makes me feel a little less stupid, likely just because I haven’t died yet.  Evidence to that is the fact that I am writing this blog.  Anyway, many people think this phrase evolved (see what I did there?) from something Charles Darwin said which is often quoted as: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”.

Except

The problem is, Charles Darwin did not say it, this was adapted from a quote in a textbook written by Leon C. Megginson.  Yeah, I never heard of him either.  And it’s not exactly what he said, which was: “According to Darwin’s Origin of Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”.

All that to say…

I can’t find an origin for the quote (other than the Facebook meme).  But I DID try!  And anyway, not being able to find the origin doesn’t make the idea of it any less true.

There is always someone…

Growing up my mom used to tell me all the time that no matter how big, fast, smart…whatever…I got, there was always going to be someone bigger, faster, smarter…whatever…than me.  From a philosophical standpoint, if I really think about it, I’d say that’s true from my perspective…but for SOMEONE out there it isn’t true.  There HAS to be a biggest, fastest, smartest…whateverist…person out there.  There I go digressing again.

The thing is…

While it is good advice and keeps people (me) from getting a “big head” about myself, the truth is this: It doesn’t matter.  Look around, the biggest, fastest, smartest…whateverist… (are you tired of that yet?  I kind of am) person is not always the one that is successful.  I’d venture to say if they are successful, these things are not why.  Surely, they help.  Maybe give some people an advantage.  But they are not the why.  I posit it is how tough they are.

Toughness

What does it mean for a person to be tough?  Well, Merriam-Webster defines it as: the quality or state of being tough.  Not helpful.  But they do list a bunch of “such as” examples.  I won’t paste them all here, even though it would help me reach my self-imposed 1500-word target for this blog, but here is the one I am thinking of: “physical or emotional strength that allows someone to endure strain or hardship”.  You can read the other ones at the link above.

It’s life

Honestly enduring strain or hardship is an inescapable facet of life for, well…everyone.  And if you think the rich and famous don’t have strain or hardship, then I am guessing you are not paying attention.  There are many examples of celebrities going through tough times, the most recent is probably the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial happening right now here in Fairfax Virginia.  EVERYONE struggles.

And some…

Some folks don’t weather the struggles very well. I think we all know people who have been crushed under the weight of hardship.  Some with good reason.  Even though we all struggle at times, some people wind up with more hardships than others.  Toughness, in my mind, is the ability to face hardship and not give up.  To keep charging forward.

This business

In a lot of ways, the entertainment business is a series of hardships back-to-back with an occasional “win” interspersed.  We audition, get called back and audition again…and then never hear anything.  Honestly, I find that if you are an analytical, numbers person you’ll discover quickly that the odds of booking a given job are very small.  And there is nearly always going to be a better actor or VO artist than you. Even if you ARE the best performer to audition, you may still not get the job!

It’s so random!

I’m finding there are so many aspects of a given role that are completely out of our control.  Maybe you are too tall, or too short, or too young, or too old, or your voice is too high or too low.  Maybe you have the wrong hair or eye color.  You could have the BEST performance, but if you just don’t fit the vision of the role they want…you won’t get it.  It can be very discouraging…especially if you are fond of eating or having a roof over your head. Not many actors these days don’t require a “survival job” to pursue their passion.

Easy to give up

It can be so discouraging, that many people give up their dream because of it.  The simple truth here is if you are doing this (whatever “this” is in the entertainment industry) for money, GET OUT NOW!  It’s a trap! The only sane reason to continue working in voice over or stage acting or screen acting or any of the myriad behind-the-scenes jobs HAS to be because you love it.  You CAN support yourself doing it, and many do, but the ODDS of being able to are pretty small.  Especially at first!

And the survival job?

Well, that just adds another layer of hardship on you!  It seems your choices are to live on the street and starve for a while, or struggle to juggle the schedule of a full-time job with auditioning and then sometimes getting booked.  It just isn’t easy.  You must be TOUGH.  Now to be fair, simply being tough isn’t enough all by itself, but without that toughness you are doomed.

But…

Remember that it is said that it takes 10,000 hours to master something.  For you numbers geeks like me, that is 416 2/3 days.  Which is 1 year 51 2/3 days.  Of trying to master something, not consecutive (unless you work at it 24 hours a day 7 days a week).  That’s a long time.  And Thomas Edison tried 1000 different ways to make a light bulb before he found the right one.  It seems an important ingredient to success is being tough enough to not quit.

And that’s the rub

That is very likely the point of this week’s topic.  It doesn’t matter if you are not the best actor, best VO artist, best cinematographer or best…whatever…(there it is again!), what matters is that you are tough enough to face the hardships and not give up.  What matters is that you will juggle the schedule, take time to drive to or record that audition, accept the small roles and take the time off work to do them (and do them to the best of your abilities). To persevere in the face of hardship because to quit means you already failed.

No guarantee

The really funny quirky thing is: Being tough doesn’t guarantee success, but not being tough virtually guarantees failure! I’m sure there are one-offs to that idea, people who hit it big on their first outing, but generally I believe that’s true.  And being fastest, or strongest without the toughness can’t really get you over the line.

So…

When you send a perfect audition and don’t get selected? Be tough and send the next one.  If you are going through a dry patch booking jobs. Be tough and keep auditioning.  Because you know, you won’t always be the strongest or the fastest, but you can be the toughest. And that gives you a much better chance to succeed!

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Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them”.

Yep, I took a week off

And I bet you didn’t even notice!  OK, maybe you did…at any rate, sorry if you missed me.  Last week I was on the set of Regaining Innocence, so early call times and long days.  OK, maybe not a week OFF exactly, but a week off writing the blog. Well worth it though, and I will write more about it in a couple months when it is close to being released.  If you follow the link above, you’ll see some behind the scenes pics of a fantastic cast & crew at work.

Who said this?

As I’ve mentioned, the topics in this series come from a list of “advice” I saw on Facebook, and we are coming up on the end of the list (so now I’ll have to find my own topics).  Anyway, this saying is often attributed to Plato or some other ancient philosopher, but it is MUCH more recent than that.  This one actually traces back to a Scottish Author writing under the name of Ian McLaren in the late 1800’s.

It’s no wonder

It’s no wonder this often gets attributed so far back, as the message it sends it timeless.  It is certainly as pertinent today as it was in the 19th century and would have been all the way back to the beginning of recorded time.  Life is not easy, and everyone is struggling with SOMETHING.

It’s also HARD

Being kind, especially in the face of some adversity or confrontation (which is kind of alluded to in the quote), is pretty difficult. People can be judgmental and cruel, and our natural inclination is to respond in kind (well, mine is anyway).  What this quote reminds us of is that each of us is struggling to move forward in life. We have no idea why a person may be angry or unkind.  It’s our response to that behavior that’s being addressed here.

We all struggle

It’s part of the human condition to have struggles at times.  We lose loved ones to illness and death, we lose our pets, our lover decides to leave us, our jobs are stressful, our cars break down…there is an endless list of things we deal with from day to day.  Everyone.

You never know

Most people don’t wear their troubles on their sleeves, so you just have no idea (usually) what trouble may be causing them to act in an unkind way.  To respond unkindly only serves to make their problems that much worse.  For all you know that short tempered “Karen” (sorry to all the people named Karen out there…I didn’t come up with the meme, but it works as an illustration) who is demanding to speak to the manager may have just gotten some really terrible news. Give her a break!

Empathy and Curiosity are the key

When confronted with a rude or angry person, taking a minute to try and put yourself in their shoes will go a long way to helping you respond kindly.  Ask yourself a couple questions to see if you can understand:

  •          Why are they acting like this?
  •          Is this a normal way for this person to act?
  •          Can there be some explanation for this behavior?
  •          What is the actual message here (beyond the words they are using)?

These are just examples, but you get the idea.  Try and put yourself in their position and understand WHY they are acting the way they are.

And then…

Remember times in your life when you were short, grumpy, or angry with people because of some event unrelated to them.  If they respond to you angrily, how did it make you feel, better or worse?  How did a kind response make you feel?  I venture to say the angry response elevated your anger, and the kind response made you feel a little better.  How would you want someone to respond?  Act that way!

The entertainment industry

And by “entertainment industry” I mean everything from voice artists, to actors, to producers, directors, cinematographers, grips and on down the line.  Why is it important to be kind?  I may have mentioned once or twice that this industry is built on relationships.  Being the person who always responds unkindly is not going to ingratiate you to the people you are working with, and it is LIKELY to ensure you don’t get as much work as you’d like.

No, there is no ACTUAL blacklist

Well, there is an actual show called that, but I digress.  I mean, there is not a list that gets shared around the industry of people to not work with (well, not since McCarthy in the 50’s anyway).  But for negativity, there is a pretty long memory.  Most of us can name a few celebrities who have a bad reputation, and casting professionals and production teams all read the news as well.  You don’t want to be that person.

An example from one of my productions

I was on set as a background actor.  As we were getting set for the scene, I was stationed in a hallway behind one of the principal actors (a “named” actor), when he turned to me and rudely said “Back up!  No, around the corner, I go on “action”.  I hadn’t said or done anything to this actor, I wasn’t invading his space or interfering with him in any way.  And of course, I was background so I was set to begin moving just BEFORE he was so in actuality, he should have been behind me.

How did I want to react?

I definitely had some colorful words I wanted to use.  Of course, using them would likely have gotten me removed from set, and thankfully there was a PA close by who got me and calmed me down before I said anything…but I really wanted to point out to this person that we were both working together, albeit in wildly different roles, to make the production the best it could be.

So, I asked myself

Why is this guy acting this way?  I decided it was one of two things:  Either he was just an arrogant, full of himself windbag who couldn’t stand being to close to “the help”, or he was a method actor who was trying to stay in character (his character was a bit of a butthead).  Either way, there was nothing I was going to do to change it or not make things worse.  I decided to believe he was just being in character and let it go.  I later found out from a fellow BG actor that he worked with him during a much happier scene and he was friendly and jovial…so I guess I was right.

But here’s the thing

As satisfying as it may have been to tell this guy off, it would have hurt me a lot more than him to make a scene (other than the scene we were TRYING to make).  I would have been asked to leave AND would have gotten the attention of the director and the rest of the crew…and not the kind of attention I wanted to have.

It makes YOU a better person!

The real damage to being unkind is to yourself.  Even when faced with someone who is being UNkind, responding kindly makes you a better person. It helps you to learn empathy and to recognize that people are not generally unkind, but are acting that way, usually, because of something going on in their life you may not be aware of.   And it doesn’t paint you as “THAT GUY” who is difficult to work with.

But it doesn’t mean…

Being kind doesn’t suggest that you condone bad behavior.  It doesn’t mean you overlook or are just OK with anything someone throws at you.  Being kind does not make you a doormat for people to just walk on.  It simply means when you DO take a stand and respond to negativity, you do it from a place of understanding and respond in a kind manner, even when disagreeing or chastising.  Sometimes you just don’t know what is going on with them or what terrible thing may have just happened that makes them act that way.

So…

Remember to always “Be Kind.  Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them” (even you!).

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!  And please feel free to share this blog on social media or with other people you think might enjoy it.

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