GARY MASON

Voice Over Talent

443.624.3014

gary@garymasonvo.com

Encouragement

Thank You, Happy Holidays and Never Pose With Booze

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Never pose with booze”.

Thank you

As we approach the end of 2021, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who reads this blog week after week, to all my colleagues who are the most helpful bunch on the planet, to my clients who let me keep doing this work that I love, to my agents and managers for always being positive and supportive,  and especially to my family and friends who have been very supportive over the last year.  I am grateful for each and every one of you.  Thank you for a stellar year, for reading my ramblings here, for allowing me to corner you into watching the short films I have been a part of and for generally being there for me.

Happy Holidays!

No matter what or how you celebrate, I’d like to say “HAPPY HOLIDAYS” to all of you!  I wish for a happy, successful (however you define success) and joyous New Year.  I look forward to sharing with you my successes and struggles in 2022 (2020 too?  YIKES, let’s hope not!).  My wish for all of you (and for myself I suppose) is that no matter how good (or bad) 2021 was for you that 2022 will be noticeably better.

It may be ironic

I’ve got myself a list of topics to write about each week, and it’s just ironic that THIS topic came to the top three days before the biggest drinking day of the year.  Enjoy your New Year’s Eve celebration, but please be safe and don’t drink and drive!

You’ve got less than a week, BTW

I’d also like ot point out that as it is now (as I write this) December 28th, you have only three days left to come up with New Year’s Resolutions that you can abandon by February 1st.  For me, I will resolve to lose weight next year, but since we’ll likely have a feast on New Year’s Day, I will abandon mine on January 1st.  I prefer to be efficient.

On to the topic at hand

OK, now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk abut this week’s topic “Never pose with booze”.

Never

I’m not a fan of this word. My kids will tell you that I tell them all the time “Never say never”.  Never is a LONG time and you never know what could happen in the future, so I will caveat this topic to say, “Don’t pose with booze if it is not for a specific purpose”.

Why?

It seems silly to avoid posing with a drink in your hand.  Almost everyone who is “of age” (and let’s face it, many who are not) have enjoyed a beer, a glass of wine or a cocktail at some point.  Maybe at many points.  So why in the world is it a bad idea to pose doing something nearly everyone does?

Alcohol

Let’s start by looking at how alcohol affects a person’s body and behavior.  We all know, or have been told, that excess alcohol consumption can have major negative effects on health.  This is not a blog for a 12 step recovery program, so I’m not talking about alcoholism.  However, if you or someone you know has a real drinking problem, stop reading now and reach out to someone for help.  Start with Alcoholics Anonymous and get the help you need.  For family members reach out to Al-Anon.

It’s a brain thing

Alcohol consumption influences your brain.  Big revelation there, eh?   What happens is alcohol interferes with the communication pathways in your brain affecting the way your brain works.  It has a tendency to lower inhibitions, increase aggression and generally make people act in a way they probably would not when sober.  Clinically this is described in this way: “…alcohol impairs the information processing needed to inhibit response impulses–the abilities to foresee negative consequences of the response, to recall inhibiting standards…” (Steele CM, Southwick L. Alcohol and social behavior I: The psychology of drunken excess).  Again, we pretty much all know this.

We make bad decisions

In short what alcohol does, or at least can do, is create an environment in our brain where we have a tendency to make poor decisions.  Everyone has a story about a drunken friend who did something stupid or got themselves in trouble.  Maybe you (well, not YOU, but someone you know) got arrested for a DUI.  Maybe you said something to your family you regret.  Maybe you vomited on your boss’s shoes in the parking lot of the club (that’s a story for another time).  MAYBE you don’t even remember doing it!

Social standards

How do you define a bad decision?  Well, generally speaking we compare a behavior against some social norm or standard.  If you are acting in a way that is against or contrary to a social standard, we say that is bad behavior, or making a bad decision.  Drunk driving isn’t bad because you could hurt YOURSELF as much as because you can hurt others.  It goes against society, and against an established standard (of not doing things that hurt other people).

Interestingly

Studies show that people who have been drinking act against standards more often when the conflict with standards is the greatest.  In other words, you are MORE likely (when drinking) to behave badly when the “conflict” with social standards is the most extreme.  So, if it is a small mistake, you probably won’t make it…but if it is a HUGE mistake, well, that’s where you are more likely to go.

In perpetuity

This is a phrase artists hate to see.  For us, this means your client has the right to use your voice or image forever without compensating you.  It happens, but we don’t like it.  The problem as it relates to posing with booze these days is: It is in perpetuity.  Thanks to the internet and in particular social media, no matter what you do, it will always be there.  And people can (and will) find it.  People like prospective clients and employers. You can’t delete the internet.

Relationship

Let’s face it, this industry is all about relationships.  As I’ve said before, many times relationship is more important than talent (at least marginally).  I’m not suggesting someone with no talent can work consistently if they are good at relationship, but a very talented butt-head will work less than a less talented great person.

Guilt by association

I’m sure you’re familiar with this term.  When you have a relationship with someone people will “relate” their behavior with you.  No one is going to want to work with someone whose social media is loaded with pictures of themselves doing drunken things.  Everyone has seen pictures of drunken celebrities doing dumb things.  And we could all name some folks whose careers took a deep nosedive after doing dumb things while intoxicated.

Negative press

And negative press, while still press, is not the kind you want as a performer.  If all your pictures feature you with booze, when you finally do make a mistake, it’s not gonna be good for your career.

Times TO pose with booze

Getting back to the “never say never” idea, there are sometimes when posing with booze would be acceptable.  For example, if you are in a production that features booze, or you play a character that is an alcoholic…it wouldn’t be terrible to pose with booze.  Or should you book a gig to advertise some form of alcoholic drink, then you HAVE to pose with booze.  The key here is it is not YOU who is doing the posing, it is the character you are portraying.

At the end of the day

No matter where you are or what you’ve been doing, when someone pulls out a camera, put the glass down.  Of course, as we’ve talked about, if you’ve been drinking already you are less likely to follow this advice.

Lastly

Alcoholism (and addiction in general) affects nearly every family here in the US in some way.  It is a horrible disease that breaks up families, causes pain to the alcoholic and nearly everyone around them.  If you or someone you know needs help with addiction for alcohol or any other substance, reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) right away to get started on recovery.  Remember that withdrawal from alcohol and other substances can be dangerous, even fatal and should be monitored by healthcare professionals.  You may not be able to do it yourself, but you CAN beat addiction.

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

 

It’s never to late for an apology

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “It’s never too late for an apology”.

Oh, apologies…

Yep, if you are a human being who is in contact with other human beings it is inevitable that you will do something that hurts or angers one of the other humans.  Intentional or not, we humans are GOING to do something that requires an apology.  Not IF, WHEN.

When should you apologize?

The truth is, as tough as it can be to apologize to someone, sooner is better than later.  Honestly, even if it is already later, apologize before it gets later still.  If you owe someone an apology, NOW is the time (whenever NOW is).  Frankly, it’s never too late!

Why is it important to apologize?

There are many reasons why apologizing when you’ve hurt someone or even just broken a rule of social conduct is good both for the person you’ve “wronged” and yourself.  Psychologists have studied the benefits and have come up with several reasons:

Trust

Apologizing lets the injured party know that you both know what the “rules” are and that you agree they should be followed.  It restores trust and helps them feel safe when they know you agree that hurtful behavior is not OK.

Dignity

A sincere apology restores dignity to the person you’ve hurt.  It lets them know that you are aware that whatever you have done was your fault and not theirs.  It helps them to feel better and it helps them “save face”.

Comfort

An apology will help to repair damaged relationships and facilitates communication.  It helps people start to feel comfortable with each other again and allows you to begin rebuilding damaged relationships.

Apologizing is not weak!

If I had to guess I would guess that almost everyone who is reading this has had, or knows someone who has had, a relationship completely destroyed over some argument or another, and because neither person wanted to “break down” and apologize that relationship stays damaged for a very long time.  Why is it that we feel we need to “break down” and apologize, as though life were some sort of game to be won or lost?  It seems we humans feel that apologizing is a sign of weakness, but in fact a sincere apology is a sign of strength!

Admitting fault

I think this is where it gets difficult and what keeps many of us from apologizing (sincerely) when we need to.  Let’s face it, none of us are perfect and in any disagreement, there is probably plenty of blame to go around on both (or more) sides.  THIS is where our pride gets involved.  It is difficult to look objectively at our own behavior and recognize where we are at fault.  Humility is key here.

Sincerity

I’ve used the term “sincere apology” several times here and for a good reason.  A genuine apology is sincere!  But what IS a sincere apology? Glad you asked!

Just saying “Sorry” …

Just muttering sorry is not really an apology!  It is so easy to say sorry and not mean it.  The truth is simply saying sorry is not really an apology.  A sincere apology has several aspects to give it real meaning.

  1. Own your action.
  2. Admit your mistake
  3. Show remorse.
  4. Ask forgiveness.
  5. Fix it by stating what you are going to do moving forward.

It is NOT easy

Take a look at that list again.  A sincere apology is not easy.  Just the first step may be the toughest one of all: Owning your action!  Just admitting that you have done something that requires an apology is a tough pill to swallow.  Any sincere apology starts with YOU, understanding that whatever you have done has hurt someone.

Facing the person you’ve hurt

The next tough thing is actually facing the person you’ve hurt.  Ever had to speak to someone who is mad at you for something you’ve done?  It’s tough sometimes to even get them to listen to you at all!  And then admitting out loud to them that you’ve made a mistake, showing remorse and humbly asking for forgiveness can leave some people paralyzed with fear.  If you can get to the last step, telling them how you’ll fix it…it starts to get easier.

What does a sincere apology look like?

A sincere apology might go something like this (fictional names of course):  Bob, I need to apologize for (this thing I did or said), I should never have done that, and I feel terrible that my actions have hurt you.  I would like to humbly ask your forgiveness for that, and I will make sure it never happens again by (how you’ll fix it).

It’s hard to stay mad

Think about someone your upset with.  If they came to you like this and asked forgiveness, how hard would it be to stay mad?  It is almost impossible to stay mad at someone who humbles themselves to you, admits their wrongdoing and asks for forgiveness.  One major benefit of offering a sincere apology is people don’t stay mad at you.

It’s not a miracle cure

No matter how sincere (or timely) you deliver an apology, don’t expect things to just return to normal right away.  Remember that your apology does not undo what was done.  It will not instantly reverse the hurt or embarrassment your actions have caused.  What it WILL do is start the healing process.  It provides hope and a path to rebuilding a relationship.

My story

This story may bring the idea home.  I had a disagreement with one of my children.  That’s not uncommon, but we are both pretty stubborn and strong willed and without naming names or going into details it caused us to become estranged.  It was terrible and I wanted nothing more than to heal that relationship…nothing more EXCEPT admitting I was wrong.  We did not communicate, at all, for THIRTEEN YEARS.  Yes, you read that right…thirteen years.

And then, tragedy

Again, no details but we found ourselves coming together in the same place over a tragedy.  It was uncomfortable and awkward, but we managed to have a short time alone and, after 13 years, I apologized (and I am not ashamed to admit I cried).  After all that time he forgave me and apologized for his role in the rift. Today, 5-ish years later we speak often and once again have a good relationship.  My pride (and stubbornness) took 13 years of my child away.  This is not something I’d wish on anyone.

It was NOT too late…

Thirteen years is a long time to be mad at someone.  It is a very long time to owe someone an apology and not give it. BUT…it was not TOO long.  It was not too late.  It’s never too late.

What does this have to do with VO and acting?

While the majority of this blog has been discussing personal relationships and the importance of apologizing, it is JUST as important in our line of work.  What is the entertainment industry based on?  Relationships!   Every interaction with a client or fellow performer is an opportunity to build relationships.  If we can remember that what we do is NOT focused on getting jobs or making bank, but in helping people bring their projects to life then we can focus on relationship and what we can do for them.

It’s almost MORE important in this industry

Everyone can think of some celebrity that has acted poorly and needs to apologize.  Most of us can point at someone in the industry whose career has come crashing down prematurely for lack of a sincere apology.  The thing is, in this industry, your success is based as much on your reputation and relationships as it is on your talent.  In most cases a producer/director would rather work with talent that is easy to work with and has a good reputation with minimal talent than an extremely talented person who is difficult to work with and can’t own up to their bad behavior.

But we ALSO know of…

Some entertainers who have acted badly, fallen from grace but then sincerely apologized and changed their behavior…and their careers take off like crazy.  I won’t name any, but I can think of a half dozen off the top of my head.  My guess is Google will find 1,280,000,000 results for “celebrities whose careers came back after an apology”.   This search result alone should convince you!

It’s never too late for an apology

It’s said that it’s important to apologize promptly, and I would agree with that.  What I may feel differently about is the definition of promptness when it comes to an apology.  The truth is the time to apologize is NOW.  That’s prompt.  It doesn’t matter how much time has passed since whatever it is you’ve done required an apology, because, It’s never too late for an apology!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

Never Eat Lunch at Your Desk if You Can Avoid It!

Acting, Encouragement, General, Unplugging, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it”.

But First

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for three weeks.  Actually, some of you HAVE noticed because you emailed me to ask about it.  Thank you for reaching out to check on me and make sure everything is alright. Hearing from you makes me happy for a couple reasons:

  • It’s good to know that someone is actually READING what I write.
  • Some of you, at least, like it enough to notice when I don’t post. All the analytics in the world don’t mean nearly as much as hearing from you.  So thanks!

Schrodinger’s OK

You Big Bang Theory fans will get the reference.  Things are simultaneously OK and NOT OK at the same time in our household.  Let me explain.  This happened:

That’s my partner Karen.  She fell off the attic ladder while handing me empty Christmas decoration boxes to put away and broke BOTH arms.  This picture is in the emergency room, and a week later she had surgery on both arms.  Needless to say, she has not been able to do much of anything herself, so I have been her stand-in arms.

We’re OK, but not OK

No one is any danger or terribly ill, but things HAVE been a bit hectic especially with the Holidays here, so that explains why I’ve not bee doing any writing.  Or auditioning (much) or even really submitting for any roles. She’s come a long way since that photo was taken and is beginning to be able to do some small things for herself.  Luckily casts come off Thursday, so I expect things to get even better (and closer to back to normal) soon!

Not a fan

Personally, I am not a fan of decorating for Christmas.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas decorations…just not the decorating part (or the UN-decorating part).  I am a fan of heading to Belize for Christmas where it’s 80 degrees and you can snorkel on Christmas day.  I’m going to use this as an argument against decorating from now on.

Christmas 2019

Anyway…on to the real topic

Why is it important to never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it?  There are actually several good reasons for this, but, first, the IDEA of doing that is not really universal.  Here in the USA, it seems to be a pretty standard practice as we seem to have more than our fair share of workaholics here.  I think we think that eating lunch at our desks increases productivity.  NEWSFLASH:  It actually reduces productivity!

Lunch breaks improve productivity

As humans, we have only so much psychic energy to expend in a day.  Failing to take that lunch break continues to deplete that energy so that you wind up “burning out” earlier in the afternoon.  Getting up from your desk (and work) gives your brain a much needed rest that allows it to recharge a bit and actually INCREASES productivity throughout the afternoon.

De-stress

We all intuitively know, and many studies have proven, that stress is a killer.  Stress in our lives, while not proven to cause heart attacks and strokes, have been proven to increase that risk when other factors are involved.  No one sets out to “work themselves to death”, but that could, in fact, be what you are doing. Taking a break at lunch and changing your surroundings helps lower overall stress levels and can help you remain healthy.

Improved cognition

Lowering overall stress levels also helps to improve cognition according to a study by the University of Maryland Medical Center.  Studies indicate that regular stress can reduce glucose to your brain which reduces your brains energy source.  Stress is bad for your brain, so taking that break improves brain function (beyond fatigue).

Did you know?

Until COVID hit, it was illegal in France to eat at your desk!  Yes, failing to take a lunch break could lead to a fine.  Seems weird, but apparently the French government understands the need for a break from work mid-day.  Sadly, with the onset of COVID and many people working from home that law was rescinded.

Speaking of COVID

Now that people are working from home more often eating lunch at your desk is even MORE common. Not to mention longer hours overall, but that’s a different topic.  Some of the peripheral effects of working from home include more access to food (I mean, your refrigerator is RIGHT THERE!) which means more frequent snacking and increased health risks due to weight gain.  So, besides the mental health aspects of not taking a lunch break, eating at your desk (and snacking throughout the day) can lead to obesity and all the risks associated with that.

Gig culture

As voice artists, actors, and all types of performers, we are constantly hustling to book our next gig.  There is a fear among us that we must be constantly hustling to find and secure that next role.  Particularly people who rely on the next gig to pay bills and feed their families, the drive to just keep hustling can have us at our desks for many more hours than someone who works a 9-5 job.  What people DON’T see or realize when they turn on NETFLIX and watch a show or movie is the hours and hours of marketing and networking that went into booking that role.

Gotta hustle!

In the gig culture, we are typically either at our desks looking for gigs, corresponding with potential clients, editing/mastering audio and video for auditions or in front of the mic/camera recording those auditions.  Add to that the time it takes to study a script and come up with a character (traits and mannerisms) and rehearsing/recording/filming once the gig is booked, and you’ll realize that, just for the actor, that 30 second radio spot is the culmination of hours of preparation and for a 90-minute movie WEEKS of preparation.

It can be exhausting

Most people only see the finished product and not all the work that goes into bringing that project to life.  For independent talent, the motivation to just keep working is enormous.  It appears taking a break could mean the difference between booking a gig or not booking it.  And in some ways that can be true, but while you MAY miss one while on a break, an hour for lunch isn’t really going to make or break your ability to book gigs.  For performers it is even MORE important to take that lunch break!

Your performance

Beyond the health risks, working without a break leads to exhaustion which is going to negatively impact your ability to perform.  If you’ve ever tried to remember lines when you’re exhausted (which is typical since filming days can go 12, 14 or 16 hours), you’ll realize that the lunch break may be the difference between a mediocre performance and an Oscar winning performance.  The industry knows this as I have never been on a set that DIDN’T stop and take a real break for lunch (or dinner, or breakfast).

At the end of the day

Taking a real break to have lunch is good for your health, your mental ability, AND your performance.  So:  Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short!

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over, Wisdom

I’M BAAAAAACK!

For those of you who notice things, you’ll notice I have been silent for the last couple weeks.  Yep, had a couple REALLY busy on camera (and away from my desk) weeks as well as completing a stand up comedy class (See my routine here) followed immediately by a need to head to Utah to help my mother-in-law move into a retirement home.  It’s been crazy, but I am back and ready to go!

Continuing the series

This week we continue the series with “If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short!”

So what is “Going in drag”?

Most people think of drag as a man dressing up as a woman, and those people would be partially right!  Drag is ALSO a woman dressing as a man.  A man dressing as a woman is sometimes referred to as a “Drag Queen” and a woman dressed as a man would be referred to as a “Drag King”.  Makes perfect sense, right?

Also…

Simply wearing clothing of the opposite gender would not constitute “Drag”.  So wearing your wife’s panties doesn’t qualify…I mean, it qualifies as cross dressing just not going in drag.  From my research, going in drag includes putting on the persona of the gender you are dressing as, typically exaggerating gender signifiers and gender roles most often for entertainment purposes.

Genders

Just to be clear, while I understand there are a number of genders beyond male and female, when speaking of drag in this blog, I am going to focus only on the two “birth assigned” genders of male and female.  Not to slight anyone or leave them out…just that for the purposes of this blog the totality of genders people identify with are irrelevant.  You’ll see why later.

OK, never mind

I’ll tell you why now.  While this blog purports to be about going in drag, it’s REALLY about not selling yourself short no matter what you choose to do.

The real message here

No matter what you decide to do, do it all the way…don’t sell yourself short!

What does sell yourself short mean?

Well, according to the Free Dictionary by Farlex, selling yourself short is:

  1. If you sell yourself short, you describe yourself as less clever or talented than you really are.
  2. If you sell yourself short, you do things that do not show how clever or talented you are.

Impostor syndrome

Selling yourself short relates to a syndrome most people in the entertainment industry are familiar with:  The Impostor Syndrome.   According to Psychology Today, people who experience impostor syndrome are people who “…believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.”

But don’t be arrogant!

I mean, nobody likes someone who is too full of themselves, right?  Right, but I’m not talking about arrogance here.  Definitely don’t be arrogant.  I’m talking about not knowing and understanding your own talent and abilities. Many people feel they are not as talented as others suggest they are and are just WAITING to be found out.  I know for sure I’ve felt that way myself!

How does this hurt us?

As performers, both in Voice Over/Voice Acting and stage/screen acting, selling yourself short hurts us in several ways.  First, when deciding whether or not to submit for a job we may think “I’m not good enough to be selected, so why waste my time?” and then not submit to (potentially) the gig that will be the turning point in your career!  Second, your lower esteem for yourself will come through in your audition performance.  Believing you are not “good enough” means you are far less likely to take chances and make bold choice.

BE BOLD!

Listen, the truth is you are likely more talented than you think you are.  It’s really that simple.  We ARE our own worst critics after all.  Have a bold idea for an audition but feel like you don’t have the chops to pull it off?  DO IT!  Maybe you do, maybe you don’t…but you’ll never know until you try.  And if you don’t?  Practice.  KEEP practicing till you do…maybe not for this audition, but for the next, or the next…ad infinitum.

Make BIG choices!

Do you think you know what the casting director is looking for?  Here’s a newsflash for you – Many times they don’t know until they hear (or see) you do it.  So do it the way YOU see or hear it.  I’m not suggesting you completely ignore the CD’s directions, hardly.  But you almost always have a chance to give more than one take.  Do one according to directions, then play around and give them your best interpretation of the script.  You may be surprised.

Go big or go home!

You’ve likely heard this before, and it is no less true in the performing arts.  Bring you’re A game and give the CD your best interpretation of the character/script.  You may not book that one, but it could lead to other gigs.  I personally have auditioned, not been cast in the part I auditioned for but they liked my performance enough to actually write in a character for me.

They don’t know what they don’t know

Several times in my short career, I’ve given a performance that was NOT what the CD asked for, but they came to realize my interpretation was better than theirs.  Not all the time, sometimes they just cast someone else and move on…but a few times, I see the lightbulb come on.  The truth is, you have as much chance of booking a gig either way, but if you make bold choices and commit to them, you are being true to yourself, and you will book more often that way. As has been said (but no one really knows by whom although it is most often attributed to Oscar Wilde): Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

STOP

Stop selling yourself short.  You are inevitably better than you think you are, and when someone tells you that you’ve given a good performance, or you are a good voice actor or a good actor – or a good ANYthing for that matter…believe them.

So…

Whatever you choose, choose it and fully commit to it.  If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!

 

Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year

Encouragement, Unplugging, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year”.

Well –

This one is a little easier than the last couple.  It’s something we all KNOW, but few DO.  This week we explore why you should “Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year”.

The idea is an old one

Even though the idea of a cell phone, the internet or TV is relatively new we can easily see it encapsulated in a very old saying:  All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy.

Believe it or not

While you may be familiar with the saying from Stephen King’s “The Shining” when Jack Torrance types it over and over again while going mad, this idiom has been around for a very long time, and no one really knows the origin.  It seems the first recorded use was in 1659 (yeah, you read that right!) when it first appeared in James Howell‘s Proverbs.

And did you know

In 1825 a second line was added, although it did not “stick” like the first one did:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,
All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.

Personally, I think that second line is as poignant as the first!

It was easier then

Way back in 1659 when we weren’t always attached and carrying our little computers around in our pockets 24/7/365, it may have been easier to accomplish “unplugging” (even the TERM wouldn’t have existed then!) from everything than it is today.  Then all you had to do was get up and go somewhere else to relax.

The beauty is

The great thing about technology, especially portable technology like a laptop or phone is that you CAN take it with you wherever you go.  No matter where you are IN THE WORLD, chances are you can make and receive calls, monitor email, and complete work.  That’s fantastic and allows people the freedom to travel without missing important deadlines and jobs.

Even as an entertainer

One of the things I love about technology is that even when I am away from home I can audition for VO and acting gigs, and sometimes even complete them entirely away from home.  As I mentioned in an earlier blog I recently set up a travel VO rig, and now routinely take my tripod/camera along if I am going to be away from my studio.  It’s great and allows me to stay connected to clients and potential clients even when I travel.

Caveat

MY caveat is I take these things with me when I am not really “vacationing”.  So, if I am going to be on location for a week of filming, or I am just going out of town to visit family for a week I take my whole rig.  No sense in missing work because I am doing work, right?

Here’s the problem

By bringing all your devices with you on vacation you are MUCH more likely to keep working.  Granted, even people who work while on vacation work a lot less, but they are not 100% on vacation nonetheless.  A survey conducted by BankMyCell in 2019 found that:

  • 85% of people went on vacation to “get away from it all”
  • 92.5% of people feel compelled to take their phones with them on vacation
  • Smart Phone users interact with their phones more than once every 10 minutes
  • 41.5% of people report they feel obligated to respond to work emails while on vacation
  • 47% regret staying “plugged in” on vacation

Confession time

Other than that fourth bullet, I am in the population the surveyors are talking about.  I suppose that much of the time I reside in that 4th bullet as well, but definitely place self-imposed limits.  You see, I am an early riser – and none of the rest of my friends/family are.  So when it comes to work emails, when on vacation anyway, I limit myself to only early morning hours when everyone else is asleep and then only to respond that I am on vacation and when I’ll return.

Of course

With today’s smart phones and the awesome cameras they provide, I take my phone pretty much everywhere, if only for taking pictures.  Of course, it also comes in handy as a translator (if in a foreign country) or a way to find that fabulous restaurant using GPS.   It is also useful to book tickets to events without driving all over town to find a box office.

Not to mention

As a small business owner and one-man band, it is nearly impossible to completely disconnect these days.  I recognize that completely disconnecting, even for a short time, can set your business back and then increase stress and workload later when you feel like you must “catch up”.

There DOES come a time

When your devices, even if they are WITH you, need to stay turned off.  In an article written by Lisa Davis of USA Today (2013), she quotes Bruce Davis, co-director of Silent Stay Retreat Home & Hermitage in California:  “The habit of checking email and text messages every few minutes has gotten us out of the habit of enjoying being where we are, who we are with and simply being in the moment”.  And sometimes just being in the moment is exactly what we need.

But here is the thing

You really don’t have to “catch up” and your work (SHOCKING) can go on without you.  I have learned this valuable lesson over time by observing what happens at work (before I retired) when people were suddenly not there anymore.  If you work as long as I did (40+ years) there are numerous times when a co-worker retires, goes on vacation or (sadly) passes away suddenly.  And here is what I observed:  fundamentally nothing changes.  Work goes on, even if they pause briefly (usually VERY briefly).  The sad truth is NO ONE is irreplaceable.

Take time for YOU

As difficult as it is, sometimes the best thing to do is to completely unplug.  The reasons are many, but what follows are 5 reasons from Aha Insurance to unplug:

  • Recharge your mental batteries: Your brain needs this downtime to recharge and repair itself
  • Better/More physical rest: Being connected adds “weight” to our lives. Remove the weight of the world occasionally
  • You can reconnect to your senses: Listen to the world, see and pay attention to the beauty around you. It decompresses you.
  • Rewire your brain: Turn off your left brain and let your right brain take over. Enjoy some new creative experiences and give the left brain a rest.
  • Drop in: Into your marriage, your relationship with your kids and your friends.  Enjoy where you are and who you are with and leave the worries behind for a few days.

There is enough

Enough stress, enough work, enough problems that need solving to go around.  Unplugging for a few days once a year allows you time to de-stress and relax.  Time to reconnect with the world around you.  Time to reconnect with your family and friends.  It allows you time to rest an recharge so that when you return to work, you won’t need a vacation to recover from your vacation! So, once a year, take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV.

Now

I just need to take my own advice and do the same.

P.S.

If you should be on the hunt for your next great read, check out some of the titles in this October promo!

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Hold your heroes to a high standard

Encouragement, General, Wisdom

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Hold your heroes to a high standard”.

 

Wow –

I really stuck it to myself with this list, right?  At least this one I found a few things to look at when I researched it, unlike last week.  I mean, what IS a standard anyway?  And why should we hold anyone to them? And then why in the WORLD hold heroes to high standards?  Well, let’s figure it out together, shall we?

Standards

Standards are funny things (funny unique, not funny like stand-up comedy).  It seems they change over time, so in my mind, they are hardly “standard”.  Consequently, because I surely had a misconception about them, I went to my old friend Merriam-Webster to figure it out.  Apparently, there are several things we call a “standard” including flags and banners.  For the purposes of this discussion, we will focus on just one of the definitions; according to this online dictionary, a standard is (among other things) “something established by authority, custom, or general consent as a model for example : criterion”.

Authority, custom or general consent

Hardly seems static.  Since, at least here in the USA, authority changes frequently, customs become outdated and it seems the public (general consent that is) sway with the breeze, it’s no wonder standards change over time.

 

Think about it…

Once again, I am going to focus on the USA, since that’s where I grew up and live (your country may be different).  In the 1950’s, it was “standard” (custom) for women to stay home and raise the kids (yes, I am oversimplifying here – bear with me) and for men to be out in the workforce.  Fast forward to 2021, and that standard no longer holds true.  That didn’t happen overnight, the change happened slowly, over time.  As people’s beliefs and perspectives change, so then do standards.

And many other things…

There are many more examples: legality of marijuana (that one is kind of in the middle of changing standards right now) is one I can think of.  Acceptance of LGBTQ+ lifestyles and marriage, tattoos, smoking…the list goes on.  It’s pretty subjective, really, and different people see these changes differently – some good, some bad.

For the record…

This post is not making a judgement one way or the other about the way things have changed over time, just discussing that they DO change; whether we view them as positive or negative is up to the individual.

Wait!

If we are holding people to a standard, and the standard changes…what then? Well, this is actually something that frosts my…well…this is a family blog so…upsets me.  These days it seems we try to apply the standards of today to the things people did and said when the standard was a lot different.  It hardly seems appropriate to hold someone’s PRIOR behavior to a new standard and then (many times) excoriate them for it.  Standards change because PEOPLE change, and there should be an allowance for that.

Just to clarify

Now listen, I am not saying that just because something was widely accepted as a standard means it was “right”.  Some things (slavery comes to mind – and there are a lot of others) are SO offensive that any sane person should have recognized it for the abomination it was.

So, what is the point?

My entire point here is that in many (if not most) instances it is inappropriate to hold our heroes to a standard that didn’t exist when they became our hero.  A standard is a benchmark to judge and evaluate behavior or performance, but it is dynamic, not static so should be measured against the standard of the time.  Anyway, this is going down a pretty deep rabbit hole here, so let’s get back on topic.

Heroes

And what exactly is a hero?  I think we all have some sense of what a hero is, and that may be different from individual to individual, so it is time to head back to the trusty Merriam-Webster for a definition: “a person who is admired for great or brave acts or fine qualities…or a person who is greatly admired”.  Let’s focus on the “greatly admired” part.

Many ways…

It occurs to me that there are many ways to become a hero, or someone who is greatly admired.  That heroism (admiration) may be very localized (like a father may be admired by his children), Regional (like a popular local celebrity) or national (like an actor who is very popular).  Some of these likely would not be labeled a hero, but according to the definition, they would be considered heroes.

Also timely…

Different times and circumstances can also dictate who becomes a hero.  In September of 2001 Police and firefighters were all considered heroes.  Today essential workers and health care professionals are all considered heroes.

 

And here is the rub

You never know when it will be YOU who is considered a hero. It is quite possible that just by being you and doing the work that you do, someday you may be doing something heroic without even realizing it.  Doctors and nurses didn’t think they were being heroic in March of 2020, but by July they were considered heroes.

Influence

And our heroes have influence.  Their behavior is “public” (to a degree); our children look up to them and try to emulate their behavior.  Heck, some adults look up to them and try to emulate their behavior!

We all know of one…

Pretty sure we could all name someone who is (or was at one time) “greatly admired” that fell from grace because of some behavior.  I can think of half a dozen celebrities who fall into this category just off the top of my head.  Think about the OJ Simpson’s and Bill Cosby’s of the world.  Once greatly admired but whose behavior has sullied their reputation.  Things they did outside of the public eye that were discovered to tarnish otherwise stellar reputation.  People who did not hold themselves to a high standard even though they were “greatly admired”.

Lesser evils…

The above examples are ones we are all familiar with and whose behavior clearly did not meet high standards (under the heading of understatement there).  There are others who behaved a lot less egregiously though who did not live up to established standards, yet we sometimes give them a pass.  I can think of numerous politicians, for example, that exhibited wildly inappropriate behavior yet got (or continue to get) re-elected.  We (as a people) should hold them to high standards as well.

Or maybe…

Maybe, just maybe, instead of holding others to high (sometimes impossibly high) standards we should instead hold ourselves to high standards.  As I mentioned, you never really know when you might be considered a hero.  Honestly, you don’t even know for sure if someone is RIGHT NOW looking at you as a hero (even if just in the greatly admired category).   I tell my kids all the time that you never know how you may be influencing people around you, sometimes even with an offhand comment.

Especially if…

If you are looking at a career in voice over or acting, and could someday be in the public eye, you should take head of this.  Even though standards change, you may one day in the future be judged by your behavior today.  Pretty sure everyone can think of a popular actor who at one time did or said something offensive (before they were popular) and are now paying the price for that.

We should

We should hold our heroes to high standards, they are influential and emulated.  As long as we remember that EACH of us has the potential to be a hero and hold ourselves to that same high standard.

P.S.

If you should be on the hunt for your next great read, check out some of the titles in this October promo!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

If you haven’t already, please feel free to subscribe so you don’t miss anything!