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Encouragement

Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over

Continuing the series

With this week’s topic “Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend”.

Not sure why

Confession time:  I’m not really sure why I chose this as one of the topics to write about, but I really liked the sentiment and now I am committed so here we go!

Second confession

Typically, I research these topics (read: google them) once I select them to get some idea about how to approach them.  I did that this time, too, but all I got in return was either the original list of 100 things, or people’s snarky responses to them.  As a result, you will now be subjected to my very own mad ravings about the topic instead of a well-researched discussion.  Bad for you, maybe more fun for me!

Overall

Overall, the sentiment here is a good one.  Firsts are important.  Remember the first fish you caught.  That was a red-letter day for you even if, almost especially if, you have gone on to catch many more fish.  Remember your first car.  That was a milestone day in your life when you became independently mobile.  Even if you have subsequently driven millions of miles, that first car was a special one!  Remember your first boy/girlfriend.  Another milestone for life!  This is where you began learning about how to be in a relationship, and that not everything is about you.

Maybe…

Maybe these were not awesome milestones in your life (although I struggle to think of a way catching your first fish might be bad) but it’s still a good idea to remember them.  I’ll talk about why in a minute.

Pictures

So maybe you didn’t TAKE those pictures, I didn’t.  But I still have a picture of them in my mind.  Just because you didn’t have a “Kodak moment” (and yeah, I know I am dating myself here) shouldn’t stop you from picturing it and remembering it (fondly or not).

Fish

Why is it important to remember that first fish?  No matter how old you were, it was your first success at fishing.  Maybe you caught a fish the first time you dropped a line in the water.  Maybe it took several fishing trips before you caught one (They DO call it fishing and not catching).  Either way, you were clearly trying to catch a fish, and then you did!  You succeeded!

Perhaps

There is a fair chance that this first fish was caught while you were still young.  Maybe pre-teen.  It MAY have been your very first success at something you were trying to do.  These early successes set the stage for future success if for no other reason than learning that persistence pays off.  A string of failures does not make YOU a failure, because a success may be right around the corner!

Car

This one is also a success story.  People obtain cars in a lot of different ways.  Some save up for a long time to buy one, some are gifted cars from their parents.  It’s different from catching a fish because it MAY not have been anything you did to acquire it (not minimizing those of you that worked hard to be able to afford it).  You can get a car a lot of ways, but you can only catch a fish by…fishing.

Independence

The really important thing about your first car is the independence it affords you.  You no longer have to rely on your parents, siblings or friends to get to where you want to go.  You can now make your own schedule and not tie it to bus or train schedules or rely on taxis or Uber to get around.  Your first car sets you apart and establishes you as an individual.

Boy/Girlfriends

Unless you are married to your first, then this one could be tricky (depending on how jealous your SO might be).  Like the fish and the car, it is a success.  Like the fish, you had to pursue them to achieve success.  However, the real reason remembering that first boyfriend or girlfriend is important is because it was likely the first time someone other than your family valued you for who you are.  Regardless of how you felt about them, THEY wanted to be with you!  They saw your value, your worth.

Certainly

EVERYONE has value, partner, or not.  I am not suggesting that you need a partner in order to have value, only that they are one outward sign of your value as demonstrated by another human.  It’s not the only way to get that affirmation, but it is one way so if you have that, remember it!

All of these things

Each of these “firsts” in a person’s life marks a transition for them.  It changed the way they looked at the world AND made them “feel” a certain way.  With your first fish, you got the sense that if you just stick with it, you can accomplish your goals.  With the car you get the feeling that you don’t HAVE to depend on anyone anymore and with that first partner you understand that you have value to others.  These are all important things to remember.

A journey of 1000 miles

It is said that a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.  Simple, but true.  These firsts, and MANY others are steps along that journey that it would do you well to remember.  The original author chose these three things to highlight, but I submit that they were talking about ALL your firsts not just these.

Your first VO Demo

I remember receiving my first professionally produced VO demo and how AWESOME it made me feel to listen to it for the first time.  That demo represented WEEKS of training and preparation, as well as my first trip to a professional recording studio and it helped me to remember that training, preparation and hard work will definitely result in something worth having.  It’s important to remember that, especially when things are slow or being a drudge.  Work through it, keep practicing/improving and it will happen.

First VO Gig

Man, what a great feeling the first time someone wants to PAY you for a VO gig!  I remember the excitement of booking my first gig and imagining myself as a professional voice over artist!  It serves me well to remember that feeling with every new gig booked, but more importantly when I’m in a slump: I WILL book another!  I keep a copy of that check to remind me that people DO want to hear me read their copy.   I mean, I DID cash it, so it is now just a worthless piece of paper, but it symbolizes something.

First acting gig

For me it was a background role in a Hulu/Disney production (Dopesick – check it out on Hulu October 13th).  I was both excited and nervous to arrive on set that first time, but MAN it was absolutely the coolest thing I had ever done.  That feeling compelled me to study acting and submit for numerous roles.  The first time I was cast in a speaking part I was OVER the moon!

They sustain you

These firsts serve to sustain you in slow times, and help you remember why you do this.  I can tell you that in both VO and acting, there are a LOT more submissions and auditions than there are roles cast.  Sometimes, it is remembering those firsts that help me to keep moving forward.

At the end of the day

There are so many firsts in our lives, and each one opens a new chapter for us.  It’s important to remember them, and how they made you feel, as you continue to grow and improve.  And if you haven’t had some of these firsts yet, look at and maybe talk to those who already have.  Believe me, they’ll happen if you keep striving toward them…and they are AWESOME to think about when they do!

P.S.

If you should be on the hunt for your next great read, check out some of the titles in this October promo!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

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Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over

A different perspective

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over

Last Week

Last week, I wrote about my new E-Bike and how sometimes we all need to seek out help when we need it.  In that post I featured my partner, Karen, who actually got me interested in biking (among other things).  Of course, she approved that message before I posted it, and this week she asked if she could write a post for the blog.  Below is her post, enjoy!

From Karen:

I enjoy several hobbies and always hoped to find someone who enjoyed them as well.  I grew up in Utah and learned to ski when I was 10 years old, so when Gary and I started dating, I asked if he liked to snow ski.  His response was a resounding, “NO!” because he prefers to avoid anything related to cold weather.  With a little bit of prompting, he joined me on a weekend trip with some friends and family at a local ski resort.

The first ski trip…

Gary rented skis and joined a beginner’s class (any skier knows having a novice on the hill is a danger to others as well as the beginner).  After about an hour we checked in with him where he demonstrated he couldn’t make a turn to save his life – and so we gave him another hour hoping he’d get a feel for the snow (again, skiers know what I’m talking about).

Finally, he could turn

Once we deemed him a low risk to others, we hit the slopes.  By the end of the day, he was getting the hang of things and enjoying himself quite a bit – so much so that he promptly went out and bought skis, boots, and poles.

He was still not great

So we’d ski like this – I go fast for a ways, then stop and wait for Gary.  I’d let him ski past and then catch up and pass him again.  Although Gary found skiing to be a bit more challenging in Utah (he can fall down one hill just as easy as another), it didn’t deter him at all.   The last time we skied together, I let him ski past me and never caught up.  You heard me right, the student surpassed the teacher and it only took two seasons.

And then there’s golf

Our next conversation was about golf – I started golfing with my dad when I was eight.

Me: Gary, do you like to golf?

Gary: I’ve golfed before.

Me: Do you own your own clubs?

Gary: Ummm, no.

Me: Do you want to learn how to golf, because that would be really awesome because I love to golf.

Of course he agreed.

Much like skiing, Gary gained speed quickly (no pun intended).  His “starter” clubs lasted less than half a season before he bought a full set of custom Pings.  Within a year, he was asking ME if I wanted to go golfing, not me asking HIM.  Today, Gary golfs twice as often as I do, watches golf on TV (even I don’t do that very often), he joined the Veterans Golf Association so he can play in a tournament every weekend and his handicap is half of mine.

And of course, biking.

I saved my favorite hobby for last.  I’ve been an avid bike rider since I bought my first road bike in my early 20s.  I’ve been riding in some fashion ever since.  Why was this not the first hobby I shared with Gary, you ask?  Because I know how Gary feels about exercise in general and this hobby is a LOT like exercise.

I had to get a little creative…

So I took the alternative approach – I gave Gary a bicycle for Christmas – self-serving I know, but I really wanted to share this sport with him.  If you read Gary’s blog last week (and if you didn’t you should) you know how that went down – he was much slower than me so I had to wait for him a lot (which I really didn’t mind) but he wasn’t up to riding most days and going on a long distance ride was out of the question due to his knee pain.

I was sure he’d never enjoy it like I did.

I’d resigned myself to this harsh reality and along came the e-bike. Now Gary wakes up in the morning and asks me if I want to ride.  Several times I’ve told him to take the lead because I don’t want him to run into the back of me when I’m going slower than he is.  When we go up a hill, he passes me like I’m standing still.

It’s like Deja vu all over again.

I’m happy to report Gary has yet to crash his bike.  Yeah, yeah – I crashed AGAIN – this time on the darn driveway!  Yes, folks, I crashed on my own driveway and it hurt like the dickens.  Fortunately, Gary was there to pull the bicycle off me this time.  Once he was reassured I was okay he documented my indignity with a picture.  It’s a good thing I can laugh at my own lack of grace.

She fell
Karen After Her Fall

Put it all together and…

Let’s recap, shall we?  Gary is a faster skier than me (I still have more style).  Gary is a better golfer than me.  And yes, as much as I hate to admit it, Gary is a better biker than me.  I really thought I had him on that one, but I never factored in the e-bike.

And I’m competitive…

Ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll tell you I’m competitive by nature.  Seriously competitive actually, so I often have to remind myself to chill out and just have fun.  So, what does a competitive person do when faced with the fact that her significant other has now surpassed her in not one, not two, but three sports?  Quit?  I think not.

It’s STILL fun!

Some of you may be asking why I’m not aggravated by the fact that I’m second chair to Gary in three of the sports I INTRODUCED TO HIM?!  It’s simple – there will always be someone better at “fill in the blank” than me, so it might as well be Gary.

It doesn’t bother me (much)…

Does it bother me that he started participating in these sports WAY after I did?  Again, not really because Gary is one of those guys that takes to everything like he was born to do it.  So I’ll keep skiing, and golfing and biking with Gary right beside me because I’m still having fun.  I’ll share his successes as if they were mine – I did have a hand in them after all.

Gary again…

First, I’m delighted Karen wanted to weigh in here, and I LOVE that she can laugh at herself about falling down on her bike.  I just want to take a moment to point out that, falling down aside, Karen is a strong, intelligent, beautiful and VERY capable woman.  In no way are the stories (and pictures) of her crashes meant to put her down in any way, but we do chuckle about that together just like we ski, golf and bike together.

She’s better than me at a lot of things too.

Karen is FAR more organized than I am, she is a better cook.  She has a WAY better memory than I do and (as I think may be typical) has a much better sense of fashion (She regularly asks me: “Did you look at yourself in the mirror when you got dressed?).  The great thing is, we complement each other and that’s kind of the way it should be.

Here’s the rub…

It really doesn’t matter who’s “better” or “worse” than you…whether in sports, at work or in voice over and acting.  What matters is that you are working at it and improving…and HOPEFULLY enjoying yourself in the process.

Don’t compare yourself to others!

It’s self-defeating.  If you want to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to yesterday’s you.  Are you improving?  Learning something new about the craft?  THAT’s what’s important!   It’s OK to look at another VO artist or actor and say, “That’s the level I want to reach!” but comparing your own skill to theirs and thinking you’ll never get there leads to disaster.  I tell my kids all the time: If you want what they have, do what they did.

You typically can’t see…

What you see is someone more successful than you.  What you CAN’T see is all the hard work, pain, struggles, rejections and anxiety that went into making them what they are today.  You may see an “overnight success”, but remember: It takes YEARS to become an overnight success!  Nothing good just “happens”, you have to work at it!

This is YOUR journey…

And that person you are comparing yourself to, and probably feeling like a failure because you aren’t as successful or accomplished as them, was once where you are.  Like you, they had to work hard to get where they are; keep working and one day you’ll have the success you seek too!

P.S

If you enjoy reading this blog, you may enjoy some of the wonderful non-fiction titles in this promotion: Non-Fiction Galore.  Head on over and find your next great read!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

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Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over

Lean on me

Acting, Encouragement, General, Training, Voice Over

A BICYCLE?

Last Christmas my girlfriend, Karen, bought me a bike.  Yes, I know, I’m 60 years old.  It was the first time in 50 years I have received a bicycle as a gift.  You see, she loves to ride, and I was like “Meh”.  So, she bought me a (NICE) bicycle for Christmas so we could ride together.  It was sweet and made me smile BIG.

But…hills…

And more importantly, knees.  Mine.  And they remind me of being 60 every day…even when I’m not on a bicycle.  On the days I rode with her two things happened:

  • She had to stop way sooner than she wanted to because…well…my knees hurt.
  • I’d have a really hard time walking without pain for two days afterward.

I really wanted to enjoy it

I mean, it worked when she got me started with golf and skiing! Riding is something she really enjoys, but, alas, I just didn’t.  Well, that’s not completely true, I DID (mostly) enjoy riding with her.  It just HURT…bad.  Like, lots of pain relievers afterward bad.  So, I would ride, be down for a couple days and she would wind up truncating her ride to accommodate me.

I was also slow

Probably because my knees hurt so badly, but we “hardly” rode together anyway.  We’d arrive together and leave together…but mostly I spent a lot of time watching her backside (not a bad thing now that I type it out loud, I suppose) getting farther and farther away until she disappeared altogether.  Eventually she’d notice I was nowhere to be seen and come back for me and we’d put the bikes back on the rack and head home.

She would get excited…

Several days a week she would wake early, which is an indication of how much she enjoyed riding all by itself and ask, “Are you up for a ride this morning?”.  Many times, I would cringe (internally of course).  I always felt bad saying no, because I know how much she likes it and I appreciate her wanting to share her passion with me.

There’s also kind of another reason I wanted to go

Secondary for sure, but a reason, nonetheless.  You see, sometimes Karen can be a little clumsy (sorry hon).  A couple weeks ago she took a tumble over the side of the trail, down a 3-foot embankment into a bunch of poison ivy.  She was going very slow and trying to turn a corner.  Oooops.  I probably wouldn’t have been able to stop her fall, but I COULD have helped her back up…and if it was really bad, I could have called an ambulance so she wouldn’t be lying in a ditch waiting for someone to come by and notice her.

I jest…a little

Actually, I make it sound a lot worse than it is.  While it is true, she can be a little clumsy, emphasis is on “little”.  For the record, she is a smart, funny, capable, and accomplished woman.  But the bruises up and down her leg accompanied by huge patches of poison ivy rash attest to the fact that when she IS clumsy, she is clumsy GOOD!

Anyway…

Because of the poison ivy oils on her clothes, helmet and gloves, day before yesterday we headed out to the bike shop to get new ones that weren’t covered in poison ivy oils.  Yeah, she tried washing them, but her confidence was low, and who doesn’t like new stuff, right?

I went with her

We had other errands to run anyway, so we went together.  Mostly we go places together anyway…I mean, I LIKE hanging out with her after all.  The point is, while we were at the bike shop, I saw a shiny new E-Bike in the window.  Curious, I started asking questions about it.

E-Bikes…a gift to bad knees

What is an E-Bike?  I’m glad you asked!  Essentially, an E-Bike is a bicycle that incorporates an electric (the E in E-Bike) motor that “assists” the rider in pedaling.  Honestly, I’d heard of them before but thought they were like those little electric scooters you can rent for getting around in the city.  I never considered them because I didn’t need a fancy, expensive, electric motorcycle.

Test ride

Once the salesmen explained it to me, I thought…hey, I should give one a test ride.  So, I did.  Let me tell you folks, those things are a GAME CHANGER when it comes to old people and bicycles. I didn’t ride long, but I was sold pretty much right away.  Being a guy, of course, I wanted to see how fast I could get it to go, so I went behind the strip mall where the bike shop is and rode back and forth several times.  WOW…I got that bike up to 40 MPH uphill! (Not a big hill, but still).

Some details

OK, so the bike does NOT ride itself, you definitely need to pedal so you still get good exercise using it. It has four “speeds” or levels of assistance, and in the highest it will assist you up to 28 MPH (in the model I was on…there are several models).  It’s almost like another set of gears.  It just makes pedaling a little easier (in the higher modes a LOT easier).  So, obviously, I bought it.

And then we went riding

Not a long ride, just about 40 minutes, but for the first time THREE things happened:

  • I was able to easily keep up, and not struggle with hills (she had to tell me to “back off” because I was making her nervous being so close behind her)
  • She wanted to quit BEFORE I did.
  • I was not only able to walk the next day but play 18 holes of golf…without medicating!

Frankly, it feels pretty miraculous.  Now I WANT to ride as much (if not more) than she does!

What does all that have to do with voice over and acting?

Again, glad you asked!  It occurred to me that sometimes you just need a little help to get over the hump.  As much as we’d like to be independent and accomplish things on our own, In the immortal words of Bill Withers:

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
– Lean on Me; Bill Withers 1972

You can’t go it alone.

I guess that’s not really true, you CAN.  But why would you? Honestly the road to success in both acting and voice over is long, and mostly uphill.  Going it alone is going to be rough and take a LONG time if you try to be a one-man (or woman) show.  As Mr. Withers says: “We all need somebody to lean on” (Bonus points if you just sang that to yourself).

Where do I get help?

You are FULL of great questions today!  I’ve written about some of these before, but there are a lot of places you can get the help you need. What follows are some ideas, but I’m sure you can come up with a few more:

  • Get a coach.

    • It doesn’t matter whether you are an actor or voice artist, a coach will be able to help you improve your chops. Even A list actors see a coach regularly.
  • Take a class.

    • Google can be your friend here, no matter where you are you have access to the classes you need. Find something local and attend in person (assuming your region allows it now) or find virtual classes around the world.
  • Find a Mentor.

    • This one can be a little harder but reach out and get to know people who are more successful than you in your field and see if they might be willing to mentor you. This is not an invitation to pester people, and emphasis is on the “get to know” part…so it takes time to establish, build and maintain these relationships…but it’s worth it.
  • Seek out an expert.

    • Having trouble dialing in your audio?  Find an audio engineer who can help you get your audio right.  No matter what the issue, there is likely someone more knowledgeable who can help.
  • Farm out part of your production.

    • No time to proof your work?  Hire a proofer, or an editor, or an engineer.  You don’t need to be a one man show.  If you’re not a mechanic, you wouldn’t hesitate to hire a mechanic, right?  This is no different.

You see where I’m going…

Trying to do everything on your own is possible, but it can be frustrating and a lengthy proposition.  Sure, you’ll have to pay some people for their time and effort, just like you want to get paid for yours, but the investment is worth it.

Sometimes, they just want to help.

I recently was having trouble with my audio quality.  I am not an audio engineer, and to top it off my hearing is not great thanks to 20 years in the military around weapons (LONG before hearing protection was a priority).  I contacted an audio engineer I “met” on Facebook and offered to hire him to help me out.  He spent several hours listening to my audio and tweaking my settings until it is now really great…and in the end he wouldn’t charge me for his time. I’ve also gotten a lot of help (both free and paid) from Don Baarns with my DAW setup (Don is a Studio One Wizard) and from Josh Alexander with marketing as well.

I’ve gone long this week

But here’s the takeaway:  Sometimes everyone needs a helping hand.  Whether it’s climbing a hill on your bike or working out what’s wrong with your audio.  There is no shame in asking for help when you need it.

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on.- Lean on Me; Bill Withers 1972

 

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

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Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, General, Training, Voice Over

Imposter Syndrome

Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over

Welcome Back!

Thanks for reading, and if you are a new subscriber; Welcome and thanks for joining us!

Imposter Syndrome

In the last week or so, I’ve seen this term used several times in social media posts.  While intuitively I kind of get what it means, to me anyway I wanted to figure it out a bit better so I decided to do a little research and found it to be quite interesting.  To me, just reading the words, I suspected it was all about a fear of being “caught” impersonating someone who knows what they’re doing (ostensibly when you actually don’t know).  Close…very close.

What actually IS Imposter Syndrome?

According to Wikipedia, Imposter Syndrome is “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence…”.  In the context of overall mental health, this syndrome can affect many areas of life; work, interpersonal relationships, and even with regard to mental health (in this context they believe they are not mentally ill and therefore do not seek treatment).

But that’s a little farther than I want to go…

For this, I am concentrating on imposter syndrome as it relates to VO and acting.  You know, that feeling when you walk on stage or get behind the mic that today is the day everyone around you is going to find out you don’t know how to act.  Today I’ll talk about imposter syndrome as it relates to the performing arts.

It aint stage fright…

The first thing to know is that imposter syndrome is NOT stage fright.  Stage fright is extremely common for anyone who needs to speak or perform in front of a group of people.  That group can be anywhere from 2-3 people right on up to 10’s of 1000’s of them.  The size of the group is not important.  Stage fright is the “butterflies” in your stomach as you are preparing to “go on”. It’s important to realize that anywhere from 40% to 80% of people have it.  It’s common, and typically it goes away sometime after the performance begins.

But let’s park there for just a moment…

As long as we are on the topic of stage fright, let’s take a look at it since it is so common.  Stage fright is a form of anxiety.  As a matter of fact, it is considered to be the most widespread form of social anxiety.  Most people will experience stage fright as a result of having to perform some type of public speaking, such as giving a briefing at work.  And you usually KNOW those people! Stage fright manifests itself with several different physiological responses such as dilated pupils, sweating, rapid heartbeat…you probably already know the symptoms.  Essentially it is the same as a fight-or-flight response.

Don’t feel like you are all alone…

The truth is some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry continue to suffer from stage fright throughout their careers.  The singer Ozzy Osborne of Black Sabbath, in his autobiography I Am Ozzy, wrote: “To say that I suffer from pre-show nerves is like saying that when you get hit by an atom bomb it hurts a bit”.  There are many others, you can google them yourselves and some of the big stars with stage fright may surprise you.  The key takeaway here is that stage fright, or pre-performance jitters, is common and you CAN be successful in spite of them.  Don’t let stage fright hold you back.

Back to imposter syndrome

Well, if it isn’t stage fright, what is it then?  Merriam Webster defines imposter syndrome as:

“a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success”.  The phrase was only added to the dictionary last year (April 2020) but has been around a lot longer than that.

The 1970’s

My research uncovered that the term was coined by American psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in a 1978 article titled “The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention” (BTW – Imposter Syndrome was previously called Imposter Phenomenon).  Initially, this syndrome was thought to be more prevalent in women than men.  If you’ve been around as long as me, you’ll note that the 1970’s was a time when more and more women entered the workforce, so it is no wonder they drew this conclusion since that’s what they were studying.

But that was a wrong assumption

By 1993, the same psychologists revealed that:

The impostor phenomenon was originally thought to be particularly pervasive among females (Clance & Imes, 1978). Surveys of several populations, however, have found no differences between the sexes in the degree to which they experience impostor feelings. (Merriam Webster)

It’s actually pretty common, believe it or not, and some would assert that it is not a syndrome at ALL, but just a part of living life (insinuating EVERYONE suffers from it to some degree or another).

Five types

According to The Recovery Village there are 5 types of people with imposter syndrome:

  1. The perfectionist – They strive to be the best no matter the cost to their mental health
  2. The Superman/woman – They may feel inadequate in relation to colleagues and push themselves. You may call them a “workaholic”.
  3. The Natural Genius – Not only a perfectionist, but also not satisfied unless they achieve success on the first try.
  4. The Soloist – Has a lot of trouble asking for help.
  5. The Expert – Never feels good enough despite their obvious knowledge and skill

Do you relate to any of the above five?

If you do, you may be suffering from imposter syndrome.  Or maybe not.  Since it is not a recognized mental disorder, it is likely going to be tough to figure that out.  But – if you ever feel like it is just a matter of time before you are “found out” or “revealed” for the fraud you are, then likely you suffer from this to some degree.

Here’s the kicker though

A LOT of people feel like imposters from time to time.  Have you booked a really high paying national VO gig and wondered how in the world you did THAT?  Did you think it was just “luck” and not your skill that got it for you?  Ever felt like you didn’t actually DESERVE the gig (but cashed the check anyway!)? That’s what imposter syndrome feels like.  Same goes for people who book a role in a big feature film, episodic show or stage play.  If you got the job but didn’t feel like you deserved it and it was just a matter of time before the director, producer and all the other cast members figured that out – Imposter syndrome!

Why is it bad?

There are likely a host of psychological reasons that feeling like an imposter is bad, but I’m no psychologist, or psychiatrist so I’m not going to worry about that (so take everything I say with a grain of salt which you should be doing anyway).  From where I sit, it’s bad because it AFFECTS YOUR PERFORMANCE!

It’s a vicious cycle

In both VO and acting, the performance, if you want it to be stellar, requires you to be relaxed, natural and confident.  How can you be confident if you don’t believe you deserve (or are good enough for) the job?  The short answer is: You can’t.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t feel worthy, lack confidence (which shows up in your performance), your performance suffers and the Director wonders why they cast you. You can see how this belief can cause you to spiral down out of control, right?

How do you overcome it?

Sad news is you probably can never completely get rid of it.  From time to time everyone is going to feel like their success is “stolen” or “undeserved”.  As I mentioned, some people think it is just part of living life.  But you CAN overcome imposter syndrome if you just remind yourself that:

  1. You are your own worst critic. Chances are pretty good you are far more talented than you think you are.
  2. You didn’t hire yourself, someone else did and then after you auditioned. THEY saw something good there, even if you don’t.
  3. You remind yourself of all the training, all the rehearsals and all the blood, sweat and tears that got you to where you are. You didn’t “fall into” this, you worked HARD to get it.

And, yeah, there is a bit of luck involved too…but luck is NOT why you got cast.  Luck is why you saw the casting notice or got the audition – your audition, your talent and skill – gets you cast.

Final words

I believe one of the biggest things to remember about imposter syndrome is that the feeling is pretty common, or at least not very UNcommon and that you are not alone.  Chances are, every actor you ever worked with, every VO you ever hear, ever director, casting director, producer, agent and manager has felt the same way you did.  Maybe luck brought you the audition, but your skill got you the job.  If you sucked, you’d never get cast.  Remember that!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

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Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, General, Voice Over

Thick Skin

Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over

Welcome Back!

Thanks for reading, and if you are a new subscriber; Welcome and thanks for joining us!

Inspiration.

In the last week or two, while reading blog posts from fellow voice artists, I was struck by both Craig Williams blog post “Are you OK With You?” and a post by Jon Gardner,  “What do I Really Sound Like?”.  It got me thinking about my own journey in both voice over AND screen acting about how we sound and appear differently to others than we do to ourselves.

Rejection!

It’s a word everyone loves to hate.  It sucks to get rejected, for sure, but as a Voice and Screen Actor, it is something we need to get used to.  Like everyone, especially in this (or these) business(es) rejection is a constant companion.  Acceptance is in there too…but that is both less frequent and a lot easier to take, so we won’t talk about that.  I mean, who struggles with acceptance anyway?  If you are going to take a trip in the entertainment industry, you are GOING to get rejected and you have to both get used to it and understand what it means.

What IS rejection anyway?

I suppose everyone knows about rejection.  We get rejected a lot in life, when applying for a job, asking out that person you’re attracted to, trying to get a loan…the opportunity for rejection is everywhere.  I am concentrating on rejection in voice over and acting, but honestly what I want to discuss is true no matter what you are rejected from.  In the end, rejection is NOT being selected for something you want, plain and simple.

What does that have to do with those other blogs?

Patience grasshopper (and bonus points if you get the reference).  Those other posts relate, not really to rejection, but maybe to how we FEEL about rejection.  In Craigs post he mentions:

“Whether you like it or not, you bring a uniqueness to a voiceover that nobody else can replicate easily.”

He asks; “Are you OK With You?” If you are part of this industry, you MUST be OK with you, or it will drive you crazy trying to be something you’re not!  In Jon’s post, he talks about how we sound different to other people than we sound to ourselves.

“Here is a major complication: we don’t hear ourselves objectively. We really don’t know what we sound like, which is why so many people hate to hear a recording of their voice.”

Most people really don’t know…

The vast majority of people never really hear their recorded voices or see themselves on screen.  When they do, either in a voice mail or maybe in a wedding video, they are SHOCKED by what they hear and/or see.  These captured sounds and images do not fit with their view of themselves, and they tend to reject them.

But here’s the thing…

What you hear or see, and don’t like (usually), are what OTHER people hear and see all the time.  Those are what you are projecting to the outside world. And guess what?  THEY don’t hate it, it’s who you are!

Here’s the OTHER thing…

Just because they (and for this they, I am talking about casting directors) don’t hate it, that doesn’t mean it’s what they’re looking for.  Honestly, and you HAVE to get used to this, the odds are it is NOT what they are looking (or listening) for.  In speaking with casting directors, I have found that even when they ABSOLUTELY LOVE what you’ve done, if it is not right (in their mind – and face it, their mind is what matters) for the part, they are not going to cast you.

All that to say:

Well, two things actually: 1.) You are not the judge of whether or not your audition is “on the mark” and 2.) Just because you didn’t get cast, doesn’t mean you suck.  Let that sink in just a bit.  So many times, I think I have completely NAILED an audition, only to get passed over.  Other times, I listen (or watch) back a day or two after submitting and CRINGE at what I sent…only to actually GET cast.

You just never know

Honestly, regardless of what the casting specs call for, it is almost impossible to know exactly what the casting director is looking for.  Sometimes, regardless of what the casting specs say, THEY don’t really “know” what they are looking for, just a vague idea.  Internalize that, know it for CERTAIN, and then remember:  If sometimes even THEY don’t know exactly what they want, how can you know if you’ve provided it?

Which leads us back to: REJECTION!

We get rejected for jobs a lot more often than we get selected.  The stats bear that out…we get cast (depending on your talent, years of experience, and relationship with the client of course) for between 2-10% of the auditions we submit.  That means, for all you non-math wizards out there, we get rejected for between 90-98% of the jobs we submit.

It may be even worse for screen/theater actors.

When you get to screen acting, it could look even more bleak.  THAT one’s a 2-step process where you first submit headshots and a resume, sometimes a video reel and then (MAYBE) get asked to audition.  In my experience (I can’t find any stats) an actor gets an audition between 10-20% of the time, then book maybe 5-10% they audition for.  Again, non-math wizards, that equates to 10% of 20% which comes out to about 2% of the roles you submit for.

Have you heard about starving artists?

I’m sure you have, it’s a cliché we’ve all heard.  SO MANY people who consider themselves full time actors spend the vast majority of their time waiting tables or driving Uber or Door Dash.  BTW, I think Uber/Lyft and Door Dash/Grub Hub are GREAT for actors because they only work when they want to, which leaves them free to audition and work when the production needs them to, not when they can get time off work.  Anyway, I digress.  There are millions of actors and VO artists in the US alone, and you know the names of maybe 2 dozen.  It’s as difficult as getting into the NBA or NFL.

We work less than we apply for work

One of my coaches once said, “We audition for a living, and sometimes people give us money”.  A year and a half in, and I totally agree.   A submission or an audition is really nothing more than a job application and we get rejected a LOT.

You have to have thick skin

You knew I’d get back around to the title of this blog, right?  It was a long road, but here we are.  As a VO artist or actor, you must have REALLY thick skin.  Otherwise, you should probably find something else to do for a living.   But there are some mechanisms to cope with the rejection.

It’s not rejection

This, above all else, is the biggest thing you can remember to keep yourself sane.  Remember that casting directors WANT you to be good, they WANT to hire you.  They are not rejecting YOU, they are just SELECTING someone else.  It is a process of selection, NOT rejection.  If you can internalize the fact that you were not rejected, just not selected, it gets easier (and far less demoralizing) when you don’t get the job you wanted.

You don’t suck just because they didn’t select you

You just weren’t right for THAT role, or THAT gig.  Your audition MAY have them thinking of you for another role they are casting for (it has happened to me) and the non-selected audition is what leads them back to you.

You have to be OK with you..

As Craig says in his blog, there is only one you and you are unique.  You have to be OK with who you are, what you sound and look like, so that the authentic, original, unique YOU shines through.  Someone is looking for you, guaranteed…be you and be ok with that.

Know who you are…

How can you be OK with you if you don’t really know who you are?  Record your voice and listen back to it. Get comfortable with it, then you know which jobs are right for who YOU are.  You’ll book more if you are auditioning for the jobs you fit, rather than everything there is.

And finally…

The best advice I have ever gotten in both voice over and screen acting is this: Send the audition, then forget about it.  Truth is we typically only hear back from the people who want to cast us anyway, so stop agonizing over your booking percentage and incessantly checking on auditions you’ve submitted.  It ONLY serves to make you anxious, and that anxiety can affect your next audition in a negative way.  It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  You get rejected, think you must not be good enough, then give a less than awesome audition as a result and don’t get booked again. You have to get out of that loop.

In the end…

You are going to be non-selected for a lot of jobs.  It’s part of the game.  There are so many reasons for this, that it’s not even worth thinking about.  Try to remember that people like Leonardo DiCaprio don’t get cast in everything they audition for, even when the CD is specifically asking them to audition.  If he gets rejected, why wouldn’t you?  Get out there, know you are great at what you do and don’t let “rejection” affect either your performance or sense of self-worth!

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

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Filed Under: Acting, Encouragement, Voice Over

Why do I do this?

Encouragement, General, Voice Over

Welcome Back!

Thanks for reading, and if you are a new subscriber; Welcome and thanks for joining us!

Why do this NOW?

In the last few weeks, I’ve had a couple people ask me why, at 60 years old, I’ve embarked on a new career…or actually TWO new careers.  This week I’ve decided to lay out just why I decided to begin screen and voice acting.  It’s not a simple answer and has several layers; but this week I’ll talk about one in particular that has weighed on my lately.

I don’t NEED to work

Probably the main reason people wonder to me about why I’ve started something new at my age is that with two retirements and a comfortable retirement account, they know I don’t really need to work to be survive.  To be frank, if this was just about money, I wouldn’t do it.  I am in the enviable position of never having to be a “starving artist”.  Which is good, because starting out I’d need a second (maybe a third) job to pay the mortgage, buy food and pay for all the other things we need to pay for to stay out of bankruptcy.

Money isn’t everything

Yeah, I know, it’s easy for someone who doesn’t need an income to say that, but there is definite truth to it.  Don’t get me wrong, money is important and necessary.  Most of us, and if you are reading this, I assume you are among them (I mean, internet is not at the top of the necessity list after all), have become quite accustomed to having a roof over our heads and food on the table at a minimum.  But, if all you are focused on in your career is money, then trust me, work will grind you to a pulp.

I know from experience

Here’s what I did, if you are an adult with a family, your story MAY be similar.  I graduated High school in 1979 and yeah, I KNOW that was a long time ago. I should add “barely” ahead of graduated in that last sentence.  There was no college in MY future, and I didn’t really have a skill I could “sell” to an employer. I was going nowhere, and I was sure to arrive pretty quickly.  Sure, I had a job – well, two jobs really; one in a body shop and one in a machine shop – But they were that, jobs, not careers with promising futures and potential for advancement.  So, I enlisted in the Navy.

Good and bad.

Enlisting was good; I got a skill and lots of experience…and that’s all good.  But I was also away from home a LOT chasing that next promotion and more money.  If you are at all familiar with military salaries in the 70’-90’s, you may understand why.  But as soon as I retired, I went right back to work for the navy chasing – you guessed it – the next promotion, and again, that meant being the guy who spent a lot of time on the road. I missed a lot of special occasions, although unlike some, I was fortunate enough to be home for the birth of my kids. Conception too, but that’s another kind of Navy story for another time.

So why start ANOTHER career then?

Yeah, I get it none of the previous text has anything to do really with starting a third career.  There are a couple reasons, really: I love it, it’s challenging, it’s on MY time, the people you meet are exceptional, and hey, being on TV or in a movie or on the local radio is just plain COOL!  The least of the reasons is to make a little scratch, but definitely NOT the least is to leave something of a legacy for my kids…maybe to help make up for all the time I missed.

A slight detour…

To help explain what I mean by a legacy, and why it’s important to me, I need to tell you a little story about my family.    Like many others (sadly including my kids), I come from a broken home.  That’s important only to make my next statement not seem quite as random.  As an adult I had a good relationship with my mom, and finally developed a relationship (ultimately a good one) with my dad.  After all the drama as a kid, it wound up good.  But then I lost both mom and dad within a year of one another in 2011 and 2012.

But dad (unknowingly) left me a legacy

Not long before dad passed, I was going to school nights for a degree I thought would get me the next promotion, or at least open the door to it.  One of the Gen-Ed requirements was history, so I took a class in 20th century American History. Fun, now that I’m older I kinda like history – probably since history today is more like memories of my life I suppose. Anyway, the capstone assignment was to interview someone who lived through a historic event in the 20th century.  As my dad was a WWII veteran, and never wanted to talk about the war, I interviewed him.

Of course…

When I interviewed him, I was away on travel for work, so needed to do the interview over the phone.  Since I was writing a final paper about the conversation, and my handwriting is horrible, I decided to record it so I could refer to it later. In the end, I simply decided to transcribe the entire conversation – and the professor loved it.  A+, YEA!  But even better than that grade, today I can “talk” to my dad anytime I want to by listening to that recording.  Which I do periodically when I have something I would have liked to talk to him about. His voice soothes me so I can think through whatever it is.  It’s his legacy to me (and he probably forgot all about the conversation as soon as he hung up the phone).

And that brings us back around…

All that long winded-ness to say that part, no small part, of why I do this is to leave something for my kids to look at or listen to later after I am gone.  Maybe being able to “be there” with them, even peripherally will make up for all the time I spent away from them while I was chasing the next big raise…I don’t know…but it will probably be cool to watch or hear something and be able to say “Hey, that’s my dad”.

Here’s what I learned, possibly a little late…

I told myself forever that chasing the money was so I could better take care of my kids, and in many ways that’s not a lie, exactly.  But today I think maybe being home with them more would have better cared for them.  I’ve seen it said on social media lately that “You’re killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead.”, which is maybe what prompted me to write this, but it strikes a chord with me.

Don’t get me wrong…

I realize you have to eat, and then there are those pesky vacations that have to be paid for.  I’m not suggesting you stop working.  I’m suggesting you find something you enjoy doing, that pays well enough and gives you flexibility with your time.  I suggest not ALWAYS being the guy that volunteers for the travel assignments, or the overtime or whatever you think will make you seem more “promotable”. In the end, you’ll get the money you were chasing, but your kids will be grown, gone and chasing THEIR fortunes…just when you have time for them.

P.S.

Please don’t misunderstand.  My kids are great and I am NOT complaining that they don’t spend enough time with me…they do…I’m just moaning about the time I missed with them that can’t be gotten back. (I have to say this because some of them actually read this blog and may be feeling like this is a one way ticket to a guilt trip – it’s not – I love you guys!).

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment below to let me know.  If you DIDN’T enjoy it, well, I’d like to hear from you too!

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Filed Under: Encouragement, General, Voice Over

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